Rebirth Movement

Infertility represents many losses including a loss of fertility and reproductive ability, the loss of a child and the hopes, dreams and expectations that come along with longing for a baby.

Some theorists classify infertility grief reactions into four main phases:
1. the initial phase (shock, surprise, denial)
2. the reactive phase (frustration, anger, anxiety, guilt, grief, depression, isolation)
3. the adaptive phase (acceptance)
4. resolution phase (planning for future solutions). .

In our culture, there are little to no mourning rituals for this type of loss as well as a severe lack of recognition and support.

Individuals and couples often report that others don’t understand their profound feelings and feel pressure to move on with life quickly.

People may minimize infertility since the desired child never existed so they don't understand the experience of loss.

The lack of support, recognition and acknowledgement of this loss results in disenfranchised grief.

As a result, it is common for people experiencing grief around infertility struggle to appropriately grieve and mourn which can result in complicated and prolonged grief.

For many people, infertility alters their identity profoundly and permanently.

You may feel as though you've lost a part of yourself.

This winter I took a course on grief and loss because I recognized the prevalence of grief in my doula clients for a variety of reasons. In this training I learned about the different theories, therapy approaches and grief support specifically designed for people experiencing grief and loss around infertility.
There are also some wonderful therapists in the area that provide counselling for disenfranchised grief around infertility.