Motivationeur.com

I was watching YouTube the other day and two videos caught my attention...

One that got me thinking was of a group of tourists on an African safari...

Full of exciting but scary encounters with dangerous wild animals...

And rather than taking in those moments with all their senses...

They were fiddling with their phones to get it all on camera and video.

One of the tourists actually missed an amazing experience while looking for her phone in an oversized backpack.

The other video that got me was a favourite concert clip of Tina Turner...
..belching out one her hits...

With so many people in the audience - their phones up in the air recording her...
..and they were looking at their phones rather than looking at Tina!

On top of that - they were oblivious that they were blocking someone's view behind them.
We all love snapping photos of the moments that matter.

But here’s something most of us don’t realize:

Sometimes, our urge to capture the moment actually pulls us out of it.

As an Innate Wellbeing Specialist, I hear people say all the time,

“I don’t remember much from that trip” or

“It all felt like a blur.”

And yet, their phone is full of pictures.

Here’s the truth:

Memory begins with attention.

The more fully we experience something—using all our senses—the more likely we are to truly remember it.

But when our focus is on getting the perfect photo, we often lose connection with the moment itself.

💡 One large study found that photo-taking can actually weaken memory.

Why? Because we tune into the device… and tune out everything else.

Even worse, we begin to rely on our phones to “remember” for us.

That’s called cognitive offloading—and it’s a fancy way of saying we’re outsourcing our memories.

Here’s the good news: you don’t have to stop taking photos.

You just need to be intentional about when and why you take them.

Try these 5 small shifts:
1. Pause before snapping. Ask, “Do I want a photo—or a memory?”
2. Take fewer shots, with more intention.
3. Engage your senses. Listen, smell, feel—immerse yourself in the experience.
4. Reflect daily. Replay one meaningful moment each night.
5. Practice presence. Slow down. Breathe. Be in your life.
The most meaningful memories aren’t usually the ones we post...
..they’re the ones we live.

Make sense?

Talk to you Friday!

Scott
https://scottprovencal.com

ps - Check out the photo below.

Question: Who got the most out of the sunset? The man in the photo or the man behind the camera taking the picture of the man in the photo?

I have a client who almost always shares with me some new personal development podcast he's watched...

Or a new self development book he's reading.

Truth is...

There's an entire industry built on the idea of self improvement.

Self help...personal development...self improvement...

Whatever you want to call it - it's an industry that has a hugely positive effect on so many people.

However...

I want you to consider something...

At some point self improvement can actually be detrimental.

Why?

Because it can reinforce a belief that you're not enough as you are.

It can be a race without a finish line.

There's nothing wrong with improving yourself...
..but you must partner that improvement with kindness to yourself...

Self improvement without self compassion is a recipe for never feeling good enough.

Read that line again...

Self improvement without self compassion is a recipe for never feeling good enough.

Let it sink in.

You see, a lot of my clients come to me with feelings of low self-esteem, low self-confidence, low self-love.

So...

I'm super careful to provide personal development exercises...

NOT to help them improve themselves...

But rather to help them UNDERSTAND themselves better, ...

Know where those feelings are really coming from, ...

And how to eliminate them in an instant!

In that way, there isn't a need for ongoing personal development until the cows come home!

So if you know someone who tells you they love personal development and are always wanting to grow...
..listen out for how they judge themselves.

If there seems to be a negative judgment and self image...

Repeat the line I mentioned above to them...

Self improvement without self compassion is a recipe for never feeling good enough.

And let it settle in.

It often lands powerfully with those who are addicted to trying to be more (without ever feeling truly happy).

Have a great weekend!

Scott
https://scottprovencal.com

So I woke up yesterday with four booked calls in my calendar.

The 3:30pm cancelled first, which was fine. I still had a full morning of calls...

One at 9am, one at 11am, and one at 1pm, all nicely spaced by two hours.

And then, one by one, none of them showed up...

Even with several reminders to cancel if they couldn't make it.

Did I get upset?

Nope. Instead, I got...

PRESENT.

You know what it's like when you're back to back with work appointments...

Or responsibilities...

That you seldom have time to really do nothing...

On do some pleasure reading or a hobby?

That's what I did - pleasure read on my balcony.

It was really wonderful.
Who has time to be present?

Ever say that?

I used to think slowing down was wasting time!

Probably all the more reason to note this little story...

A tourist had been in the Italian seaside town for almost a week.

On a rather chilly day in February, he ducked into a highly-recommended cafe for a hot bowl of its signature fish stew - zuppe di pesce.

The placed was packed with lively Italian chatter - clearly a popular good choice to eat.

After he sat down and ordered, a man sitting across from him against the wall caught his attention.

His immediate feeling was that this many was ugly, his face deformed, stretched and ravaged by some disease.

He knew he shouldn't think this way, but he thought that this man had to be the ugliest person he had ever seen.

He tried not to look but kept glancing over at every opportunity to see what he was doing and eating.

The man was eating the specialty he had also ordered - zuppe di pesce.

He would bring the spoon slowly up to his mouth, his whole face expectant with anticipation. His eyes would shine and then close and he would hold the stew in his mouth, letting it melt and cool slowly.

Each spoonful took minutes to savour and swallow. He extracted every last taste from each mouthful as if tasting some food reserved only for gods.

Then, after a few spoonfuls this way, he'd put down his spoon, pick up his glass of white wine, and swirl it around. His eyes twinkled with delight as he took a sip, allowing the wine to glide into his mouth from the glass.

Then, he'd swirl the wine around in his mouth as if the world's greatest wine connoisseur judging a wine competition.

He made drinking wine seem like an art form, as if each sip would be his last before a firing squad ended his life...
..thus wishing to extract as much as humanly possible from each last moment.

As the tourist sat there watching this man, he became engrossed with him, and realized how wrong he had been in his former assessment of this haggardly man.

The man was not ugly. He was able to do something that is very special, something that the tourist had long desired to do better himself.

The man knew how to live in the present moment, to extract as much experience as possible from the now.

While some people spend most of their time in the past, rehashing negativity, drama or even trauma...

Others spend their time fretting about a future that hasn't happened and likely won't.

Or they're constantly planning and organizing the future to feel in control.

Some of this is unavoidable of course.

But it takes a special kind of wisdom to appreciate that each present moment is precious...

Full of experience...

And will never come again.

Yes, far from being ugly...

Perhaps this was the most beautiful man the tourist had ever seen.

And to this day, he thanks him silently for his "present" that day in the quaint Italian seaside cafe.

Scott
https://scottprovencal.com

Weekends were always the worst.

When there was a fair amount of partying and yes, arguments in the house when I was a kid.

I dreaded coming home on the bus from school on Fridays because that's when I was never sure what to expect over the next few days.

Some clients I work with agree - tensions get worse at home on the weekends.

You see, during the week there's a regular "routine". But when that routine isn't there on the weekends...

Couples sometimes begin to focus negatively on each other.

Here's one way to fix that, and the principle in this metaphor goes back about 2,700 years!

You know what a tug of war is right?

You have a rope...

With one person or more at one end...

And one or more at the other end...

And you both pull as hard as you can until someone wins.

Well imagine that you're at one end of the rope and a monster is at the other end.

This monster is big and strong and scary.

Now let's ratchet up the consequences...

In between you and the monster is a huge bottomless pit.

You're pulling backward as hard as you can...
..but the monster keeps pulling you forward.

You keep struggling to control him...
..but he keeps pulling you towards that bottomless pit.

At the last minute...

As your energy is failing and you're digging your feet in...

And you just can't take the energy drain any longer..

Almost at the edge of the pit...

You suddenly realize you can simply...

Drop. The. Rope.

Stop struggling.

The monster is still there - but he's no longer controlling you because
you're not at the other end.

This is a metaphor for how to handle negative thoughts and emotions either in you, or coming from your partner or someone else...

You know, the kinds of thoughts and emotional responses that can lead to some pretty nasty arguments or fights.

True, it feels "safer" to struggle and to try to control things...
..but it's much more effective to "drop the rope" and stop struggling, or avoid struggling in the first place.

Remember: What you resist persists.

The monster can't pull you in unless you hang on tightly to that rope and refuse to let it go.

Let. It. Go.

Drop the rope.

How is this principle over 2,700 years old, as I said earlier?

Because an ancient Bible proverb says:

"Beginning a fight is like opening a floodgate; Before the quarrel breaks out, take your leave." - Proverbs 17:14

In other words, don't engage in the tug of war.

Drop the rope, walk away and let things cool down.

Can you do that this weekend if things get testy?

Next time you notice yourself wrestling with negative thoughts...

Or a negative emotion arising that you want to resist...

Know that you can drop the rope and that you don't need to get caught up in it or keep thinking about it.

And you also don't need to engage if your partner or someone else wants to battle with you over their own thoughts and emotions they're wrestling with.

When we stop trying to battle thoughts - our own or someone else's - life becomes so much simpler.

Have an awesome weekend, and talk to you Tuesday.

Scott
https://scottprovencal.com

Yesterday I got the new rental contract...

For the larger house my wife and I need to move to in order to accommodate her sick mother.

There were some clauses in the rental contract...

That seemed restrictive and I began comparing...

Living in the current place, stable and familiar...

With the complication of moving to a new place, more expensive, more restrictive rental agreement, and then...

I caught myself!

My expectations weren't being met...

And I wasn't content.

Now what if you do that every day...
..about yourself?

Compare.

Have unreasonable expectations.

My dad used to say,

"If only I could win the 6/49 (a Canadian lottery), then I'd be happy."

And this reminded me of a story about why...

It's vital to learn how to be content.

Keep reading...

The quarryman's life was hard. He worked from dawn to dusk, his hands callused, his back bent, his face weathered.

Unhappy, he sighed, “Why must I be a quarryman? If only I were rich, then I’d be happy.”

A genie appeared and asked, “What would make you feel rich and happy?”

“That’s easy,” said the man. “A top-floor apartment in the city, silk sheets, and I’d sleep all day.”

“You are rich!” said the genie, and P**F! the man had everything he wished for—and he was happy.

Until one day, he saw the King arrive in a golden carriage to cheering crowds. Instantly, envy took over. “If only I were the King, then I'd be happy,” he muttered.

The genie reappeared. P**F! He became the King. He was happy—until he noticed the Sun’s power. “The Sun is stronger than I. If only I were the Sun, then I'd be happy.”

P**F! He became the Sun, scorching fields and drying rivers—powerful and content. He was happy.

Until he saw a rain cloud below bringing life back to the world. “The Cloud is more powerful than I. If only I were Cloud, then I'd be happy.”

P**F! He became the Cloud, reversing the damage of the Sun. He was happy—until he saw the Rock below, unshaken by his heavy and relentless rain.

“Rock is stronger than I. If only I were a Rock, then I'd be happy.”

P**F! He became Rock. Strong, unyielding, invincible. He was happy.

Until one day, a Quarryman arrived…

And as the metal pick ⛏️ was about to descend on his head...

He wished more than ever he could be the Quarryman again...

But the genie appeared no more.

Scott
https://scottprovencal.com

Here's a little exercise for you if you're a business owner...

But it also works on a personal level...
..to find out what makes you tick.

Grab your favourite drink...

Might be a coffee...

A beer or glass of wine... (depending what time you read this!! haha)

And a notepad.

You'll need a pen too - so also grab one of those!

I want you to actually write this out by hand as it connects to the brain more powerfully than typing.

Sit down and brainstorm answers to the end of this sentence...

"I'm motivated by..."

So for example I wrote down...

"...a world without mental suffering".

"...alleviating the emotional pain of others"

"...showing others a new way of living in the world"

"...helping people to become more confident and resilient".

"...seeing the light come on as people realize the true nature of their experience".

Complete the end of the sentence with as many answers as you can.

Spend some time thinking about what excites you about your business (or in life in general)...

What gives you joy?

What do you love seeing?

What do you love hearing?

What do you love feeling?

What do you love being a part of?

What role do you want to play in the future of others and even the world?

Complete the sentence time and time again.

When you feel like you can complete it no more...
..keep going.

Often you find some really beautiful sentence endings the deeper you go.

Done it?

Great!

Now I strongly suggest typing out your answers into a Word document and printing it out.

Go all out and get it laminated if you can.

Because this little document can serve two purposes...

It can help you find the inner motivation whenever times are challenging (there will always be challenging times in business (and life)...

That's the nature of the beast.

And you can even use some of those answers on your web site or in speeches or even...

To create you Business or Life Mission Statement.

These are the reasons you do what you do.

And sharing it with others can be a great way to show people why you are inspired to do your work.

It's a fun and powerful exercise.

Enjoy doing it!

Have an awesome weekend!

Scott
https://scottprovencal.com

One of the things I've noticed after growing up in Canada...

And then spending time in Asia...

Is that every place has its habits that hard to change.

For example, Canadians love Tim Hortons. It's not just a coffee shop...

It's a community place to hang out and connect.

Bashing Tim Hortons is taking your life into your hands! 😱

It's almost the same as serving a meal without rice in Asia...

Don't try it.

Even if you serve noodles, bread, potatoes or any other starch or carb...

Don't forget the rice on the side! 🤪

Humans are creatures of habit. We resist change.
So, next time you want coffee or to hang out...

Could you suggest a different place than Tim's?

See, change begins with you, and I'm not really talking about coffee here...

I'm talking about LIFE CHANGE.

Changing your life is NOT about watching another YouTube video, reading another blog post like this one, taking a class or reading an inspiring quote.

Those things might light the spark...

But real change is built step by step, choice by choice.

Changing your life for good is about taking that first step...
..and then persisting in a course that is in harmony with your authentic self and core values.

Let me share my personal example of what I mean here:

My core values are strong in leading a simple spiritual life...

My core values don't involve the love of money and revolving my life around my business and growing it big.

If I bought into the business "hustle" culture pushed my way...

I wouldn't be happy and it wouldn't last. My clients would suffer.

Your life will change for good and you will be happier long term when you make decisions and take actions that reflect your core values.

But old patterns always want to creep back in...

And we're surrounded by people who want to pull us back toward the familiar.

"It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys."

So choose association and environments that match your core values.

Changing your life for good also involves being like a toddler.

Toddlers fall over and over when learning to walk, but they get back up and keep going. They’re encouraged, not judged.

They’re surrounded by people who believe in them. They’re allowed to enjoy the process.

What if you approached your life change the same way?
• Let yourself learn without pressure to be perfect.
• Celebrate effort, not just outcomes.
• Ask for support instead of trying to do it all alone.
• Make it fun when you can—because joy sustains momentum.
Motivation fades. What keeps you moving is structure:
• Simple, repeatable routines.
• Accountability through coaching, community, or tracking.
• Reflection—what’s working, what isn’t?
• Rest—so you don’t burn out.
Change doesn’t have to be dramatic. It just has to be consistent.

Here’s the truth: You will be tempted to quit. You’ll be drawn back to what’s comfortable, even if it no longer serves you.

Don’t take that as a sign you’re not ready. Take it as a sign you’re right where you need to be—at the edge of real change.

Keep walking. Ask for help. Adjust your path if you need to. But don’t stop.

You don’t need to leap. You just need to take the next step.

What's your next step? Can you take it this weekend?

Scott
https://scottprovencal.com