Pastor Mike

Stop Trying to Buy Love

People often give grace to their favorites.

Recently, I heard the heartbreaking story of a young man in Canada who died after living under constant pressure from his family back home. They expected him to keep sending money and solving everyone’s problems. The weight became unbearable. He developed high blood pressure, and eventually, he passed away.

It made me think about something many people experience but rarely talk about.

1). Family

Not every family relationship is unconditional.

In many families, there are favorites. Some people receive love, understanding, and patience simply because they are the favorites. Others are constantly expected to prove their worth.

You may think that if you sacrifice enough, send enough money, solve enough problems, or carry everyone’s burdens, you will finally earn their love and acceptance.

Sadly, that’s often a myth.

The more you give, the more becomes expected. Today’s sacrifice becomes tomorrow’s obligation. Instead of appreciation, the standard keeps moving. You find yourself running a race with no finish line because people who are never satisfied will always create another condition for your acceptance.

Love that must constantly be purchased is not genuine love.

2). Friendships and Relationships

Many people enter friendships and relationships with strategic intentions rather than sincere affection.

For some, a relationship becomes a poverty alleviation plan. They are attracted more to what you can provide than to who you are.

Ironically, after you’ve invested your time, finances, emotional support, and opportunities into helping them grow, some begin to believe they deserve someone “better.”

This is not about men or women. Both genders are capable of this.

I’ve learned to value bilateral relationships, relationships where both people contribute, encourage, and invest in each other.

Love is not measured by who gives the most. Healthy relationships involve mutual care, mutual respect, mutual sacrifice, and mutual growth.

I constantly do a value check, not because I keep score, but because I know I pour a lot into the people I care about. Healthy relationships should not leave one person constantly empty while the other is always full.

3). Christianity

Many Christians have been deeply hurt simply because they chose to be kind.

The Bible tells us to “love your neighbour as yourself.” Notice it doesn’t say to love your neighbour instead of yourself.

Biblical love includes wisdom.

Unfortunately, some people mistake kindness for weakness. They exploit generous people, consume their time, energy, finances, and emotional support, then later claim, “God told me this friendship wasn’t meant to continue.”

But what about everything the other person invested?

What about the time they can never recover?

What about the sacrifices they made?

God never authorizes us to use people as stepping stones toward our next season.

Even more painful is watching those same people treat their favorites completely differently. They don’t place impossible expectations on them. They don’t demand constant proof of love. They extend grace freely to those they prefer while placing unbearable burdens on everyone else.

That should remind us of something important:

Not everyone who receives your kindness deserves unlimited access to your life.

My Takeaways

1. Don’t try to prove your worth to people.
Be yourself. Be kind. Be generous. But don’t become foolish trying to earn love that should be freely given.
2. You cannot buy genuine love.
Money may buy attention. Gifts may buy temporary loyalty. Favors may buy convenience. But authentic love cannot be purchased.
3. Build bilateral relationships.
Surround yourself with people who also invest in you, not only financially, but emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and through genuine care. Don’t normalize one-sided relationships where you are always giving and others are always taking.
4. Don’t force yourself to be loved.
Do what is right because it honors God, not because you’re trying to earn people’s approval. Those who genuinely value you won’t require endless sacrifices before treating you with dignity.

Cheers

Audit your own life before you envy someone else’s.

Not everyone is posting their battles. Many people smile in public while fighting private wars. Social media is a highlight reel, not a complete story.

The only person you should compete with is the person you used to be. If you’ve grown in wisdom, character, faith, discipline, or purpose, you’re already winning.

Don’t measure your progress against someone else’s timeline. What God is building in you may take longer because it’s meant to last.

Let other people’s success motivate you, not intimidate you. Celebrate them without feeling threatened, and celebrate yourself without feeling guilty.

Pause. Count your blessings. Remember how far you’ve come. The prayers you once cried over have become the life you now call ordinary.

Be deeply grateful for every victory, seen and unseen while trusting God for the greater things still ahead. Gratitude keeps your heart at peace while purpose keeps your feet moving.

Happy New Year Family

I know that many of you have visited churches and received countless declarations, and that’s wonderful. But the truth is, it’s not enough to simply pray and wait for miracles. If you want to achieve something different in this new year, you must also take meaningful steps and believe in yourself. Failure may come, but if you stay down, it means you’ve given up. Rise up, keep moving forward, and don’t remain stagnant.

Be cautious about the advice you take, especially from those who haven’t achieved anything themselves. Not every success is visible at first glance; sometimes you have to dig deep to find it. Remember, nothing truly worthwhile comes easily, so work hard and stay diligent.

The presence of peace doesn’t mean the absence of problems. Challenges will always arise, but it’s essential not to rely on them. Instead, find peace in every situation.

Never depend on another person for your happiness, because true happiness comes from within. If you rely on others, you might find yourself disappointed

Also, be discerning about who you listen to, there will be many fake pastors, false prophets, and misleading miracles. Learn to know God for yourself, so you can discern truth from deception. Stay prayerful, work hard, and leave the rest to God.

Happy New Year

My dear brothers and sisters of Cameroon,

We are living through painful days. Many of you are crying for justice, for truth, and for a better future. Some took food not because they wanted to steal, but because hunger has become unbearable. This suffering is real, and our voices must be heard.

Yet even in this struggle, let us not lose our hearts. Let us refuse to destroy one another or our own communities. Our fight is for life, not for death. Our fight is for dignity, not for chaos.

May God protect every protester, comfort every grieving family, and restore peace in our streets. May He feed the hungry, strengthen the weak, and guide us toward a Cameroon where justice is real and every citizen is valued.

We are one people. Let us stand together with courage, wisdom, and love.