PookyH

𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗻 ‘𝗜’𝗺 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗲’ 𝗮𝗻𝗱 ‘𝗜 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗮𝘄𝗳𝘂𝗹’ 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗼𝘁𝗵 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗲.
It’s the sense that reads what’s going on inside the body: hunger, thirst, needing the loo, too hot, too tired. For a lot of neurodivergent people those signals come in late, faint, or all at once.

And it connects to emotions in a way that catches people out. We work out a lot of our feelings from the body. A tight chest, a churning tummy, a clenched jaw. If the body’s signals are hard to read, then naming a feeling is hard too. So a child who says they don’t know what’s wrong often isn’t being evasive. They can’t always tell whether they’re hungry, anxious, tired, or coming down with something.

𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽:
𝟭. 𝗖𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗰𝘀 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁.
Before reading distress as behaviour, ask when they last ate, drank, slept, or got to the loo.

𝟮. 𝗡𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺.
‘Your hands are cold,’ ‘you’ve not eaten in a while.’ It builds the link over time.

𝟯. 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗹𝗼𝗰𝗸.
Food, drink and breaks at set times, not when the body finally shouts.

𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲. 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝘁, 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴.

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𝗥𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗮𝗽𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗯𝗮𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝗿. 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝗸 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗳𝗳.

Holding it together at school takes everything a child has. The unspoken rules, the noise, the strip lighting, the constant low hum of trying not to get it wrong, all managed quietly, all day. By the time they’re through the front door, the tank is empty.

This is the after school meltdown that catches so many parents off guard. The report says ‘a pleasure to teach, no concerns,´ and your evenings are full of tears and slammed doors. That gap isn’t a sign you’re getting it wrong at home. It’s a measure of how hard your child is working everywhere else.

A few things that help:
𝗣𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲.
No clubs, no homework, no debrief. Let the nervous system come back online before anything is asked of it.

𝗧𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗹 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴.
Fine at school and falling apart at home can both be true at once. The fallout you’re mopping up is information about the load they’re carrying in class.

𝗗𝗿𝗼𝗽 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗼𝘄.
Snacks over conversation. Calm over correction.

𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆’𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗱𝗮𝘆.

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