DunKhand

🧡💚

🍁🍂
The situation right now feels like a tree holding onto its last few dry leaves…
One strong wind, and they’ll all fall away.

Those leaves are the little feelings I still have left inside me for us.
And the wind… maybe it’s next fight, next misunderstanding, or one more painful conversation that finally breaks everything completely.

I don’t even know what to say anymore to make things calm like before.
I don’t know how to fix when the same fights keep returning in different forms.
Every argument now doesn’t make me angry anymore… it just makes me tired.
Tired enough to disappear from everything for a while.

And the most painful part is —
I was the one who always told not to run away from problems. I was the one begging us to stay, communicate, and fight for each other.
But now the situation feels reversed…
Now I’m the one standing at the edge, trying to stop myself from running because my heart cannot carry this weight anymore.

I still want to stay.
But I need to feel that we are solving things together, not just surviving them until the next breakdown comes.

Because love doesn’t die in one big moment.
It slowly breaks in the repeated silence, repeated misunderstandings, and repeated feeling of being emotionally alone while still being together. 🐥🥹
#🍁

💙🖤
And now, after everything we went through,
I still chose to stay with you.

But the truth is…
I’m not the same person anymore.

Something inside me broke so deeply during all those fights, silences, fears, and almost-goodbyes
that I don’t even know how to fix it completely.

I still love you, I still want this relationship, but now there’s always a small fear living inside my heart —
the fear that one day you’ll leave me for real.

And maybe that’s why I overthink,
why I hold on too tightly sometimes, why small changes in your behavior hurt me more than they should.

Because when someone you love makes you feel unwanted again and again, you start preparing yourself for abandonment even while they’re still beside you.

I stayed because my love was real.
But somewhere along the way, the version of me that loved fearlessly disappeared.

Now I love carefully, quietly, and with the constant fear of losing you one day. 🐥🥹
#💙

Be real ✌️
And at last, I gave up on forcing things to stay.
Not because I stopped loving you, but because I was the only one fighting for something that needed two hearts.

I tried everything —
understanding you, waiting for you, fixing myself, fixing us,
holding onto every little hope that maybe one day
you would choose me the same way I kept choosing you.

But love becomes painful
when you constantly have to convince someone not to leave.

And the hardest part isn’t even losing you.
It’s learning how to live with the memories we created together.
The late-night talks, the random laughs, the places that now carry your presence in silence.
I’m scared that one day everything will move on… except me.

Still, maybe letting go is not about forgetting someone.
Maybe it’s about accepting that some people become a beautiful chapter, not the whole story.

And no matter how much it hurts,
I never wanted to lose you with hate in my heart.
Because even after everything, a part of me will always be grateful that someone once made me feel this deeply alive 🐥🫶.