Overflow Books

Episode ten

Untamed 💔

"Ma, here is the book," Tamilore said, handing a sixty-leaf notebook to her mentor. Three days earlier, Mrs Obatale had told her to write down the names of everyone who had offended her.

Her mentor was in the kitchen, reaching into the fridge for a bottle of water. She closed it gently, collected the notebook from Tamilore, and flipped through the pages without expression.

"Okay. That's good," she said.

Then, without warning, she brought out a small pan and a lighter from the cabinet. She set the lighter aflame and held the book over the pan. The pages caught fire instantly.

"Mummy, no! Why are you burning it?" Tamilore cried, her heart twisting. She had spent three days pouring her pain into that book. Three days of remembering every wound, every insult, every betrayal. And now it was disappearing in seconds.

"You don’t need it," Mrs Obatale said calmly, watching the flame consume the pages. "That list kept you tied to the past. Now you will make a new one. You will write the things you have done that may have hurt others. And in that same book, you will write everything you have done that hurt God."

Tamilore stared at the ashes in the pan. She had not expected this. She didn’t even know how to process it.

"Are you with me, Tamilore?" her mentor asked, her tone firm but gentle.

"Yes ma… yes ma," Tamilore replied quickly, even though her thoughts were still tangled.

"Good. And how is the job hunt?" Her mentor asked changing the subject.

"Not so well, but I’m still searching," she said, lowering her eyes.

```

Tamilore grew to love staying in her mentor’s home. Mrs Obatale’s warmth filled the atmosphere, and Lydia, the other mentee, was a quiet comfort. Lydia was a practicing medical doctor, yet she carried a softness that made her easy to talk to. She moved with a grace Tamilore admired. Her life seemed so put together, like she knew why she was on earth.

But Tamilore could not tell that Lydia, like her, was rebuilding her life piece by piece.

"Lydia, why are you here?" Tamilore finally asked one evening as they prepared dinner together. "You know part of my story, but you don’t look like someone who needs live-in mentorship."

Lydia smiled. The smile is not the bright kind, but one touched with memory.

"I’ve been here for six months," she said. "So the Lydia you see now is not the Lydia that came here. Mrs Obatale runs a ministry for people who have gone through traum like r*pe, domestic violence, broken homes, emotional wounds."

Tamilore swallowed. She hadn’t known.

Lydia continued, her voice steady but soft. "I was abused by my uncle for ten years."

Tamilore froze.

"My mother was a widow. She couldn’t afford my school fees, and we had no contact with my father’s family. So she sent me to live with her younger brother, Uncle Tade. He used to visit, bringing me gifts and saying the right things. I trusted him. I was even happy to go. But in my first year at the university, he came home drunk one night and took advantage of me."

Lydia paused, breathing slowly.

"I thought it was a mistake. I convinced myself he was drunk. But it happened again. And again. Sometimes he wasn’t drunk at all. Each time, he apologized and took me shopping. That was his pattern. He funded my education, took care of my needs… and violated me. Even after he got married, he continued. I still wonder if his wife ever knew."

Tamilore’s stomach tightened.

"After my induction as a doctor, I got a job here in Abeokuta and finally moved out. That was my freedom. He didn’t like it, but I didn’t care anymore. Then my mother died a few days later. I had no relatives, no friends, no support. I became a recluse. I didn’t know how to relate with people, even at work."

She inhaled, her eyes softening.

"Then came the turning point. I met Jesus in a man. A patient. Mr Daniel Raphael."

Tamilore’s hands went cold.

Mr Daniel Raphael?

Her father.

Time stopped.

© Deborah Oluwasegun

As Inspired By The Revealer of Secrets

Overflow Books

Untamed 💔

Episode 9

Tamilore stood up from her kneeling position. Praying for Emeka is a lot. The man had no good intentions towards her. Despite her going an extra mile to please him, he had hurt her with his words and actions. She remembered the last time he slapped her when she came to visit him. She had been telling him to show more commitment in church by joining the workforce, but he had gotten angry and slapped her. How can she pray for a man like that? She shook her head.

She sat down on the bed. Really, she had been the fool in that relationship. Taking in every insult and slap and still begging him to forgive her. She realized again that Joseph had endured something close in their relationship. He had been the patient one then. Has he ever thought of praying for me? She thought. Joseph probably did, but she was no Joseph.

```

"Mummy, where is Sista mi? I just entered her room now and she was not there. Her clothes too are not there," Seun told her mother. She had checked the entire house for Tamilore and could not find her. More shocking is the fact that her wardrobe was empty.

Her mother hissed. "She has moved out of the house."

"Moved out? Why?" she asked. Where could she have gone to? Or did she fight with their mother again?

"She now has a new mother," her mother said, unintentionally showing a level of insecurity.

Mrs Obatale, Seun thought. She guessed her sister and her mother must have fought over her mentor, and her mother, in a fit of anger, had sent her packing. She picked up her phone and called her sister.

"Hello, Sista mi," she said as soon as her sister picked up.

"Seun, how are you? How was your business trip?" Tamilore asked on the other end of the call. Her voice sounded off to Seun’s ears.

"It was good. I will give you the gist later. The important thing is, what happened between you and mummy?"

"Mummy sent me packing."

"Why would she do that?" Seun had to ask. Her mother could be harsh and overbearing at times, but she was not unreasonable. It was out of character for her to send her daughter packing.

"We had an issue when she got back from work," she answered vaguely.

"What happened?" Seun asked.

Tamilore started recounting all that happened.

While she was talking, Seun interrupted her. "You and Uche broke things off?" she asked.

"Yes, and then I lost my job," she added.

Seun was shocked. "You lost your job?"

"I did."

"I am so sorry about that. That's terrible. How have you been holding up?"

She heard her sister sigh deeply. "It has not been easy. I'm hurt over how my relationship ended, and then I am jobless and might have been homeless if not for Mrs Obatale. Mummy did not understand me. She has never understood me."

```

"I can't ma, I can't pray for Emeka. He hurt me," Tamilore told her mentor. She had relayed to Mrs Obatale the instruction she received from the Lord, and her mentor was counseling her on it. It had taken her days to tell her mentor her struggle to obey God.

How can she pray for him? Forgive a man who had approached her to hurt her? Forgive a man who demeaned her every chance he got? Forgive a man who had slapped her a couple of times in her relationship? Forgive a man who almost molested her and might have if not for God? She did not want to forgive him.

"Don't you remember the word of Jesus? Pray for those that despitefully use you," Mrs Obatale told her. She knew forgiveness was not something that came easy. Hurt was in fact very real. She sat down close to her.

"That you are finding it repulsive to pray for him shows that you are still carrying hurt in your heart against him. Hurt breeds bitterness, unforgiveness, anger and hatred," she added. "A heart with all of these is not pure and cannot see God. Remember Hebrews 12:14 that says follow peace with all men and holiness without which no man can see the Lord."

Tamilore was listening attentively. Hurt breeds bitterness, unforgiveness and anger. God, please heal my heart completely, she prayed in her heart. Could it be that the restlessness she felt since she received the instruction was because she refused to forgive?

"When I was with my ex husband, he hurt me a lot. He abused me both physically and emotionally. I came out of that marriage a broken and battered woman," her mentor said, recalling her experience with her ex husband. She paused for a bit as she thought of her ex, Obanla Obatale. Oba had broken her. He had wounded her in places she never knew could hurt. He had opened up old scars even. It had taken the Lord to pick up the broken pieces and mend her. "Thank you Jesus for healing," she muttered quietly.

She continued sharing her story. "For a long time I was hurt and hated him. I hated myself too. Later on, I was not just hurt, I was bitter and angry at myself and the world. I got to the point of hurting everyone around me," she said. Even her son... She stopped midway in her thoughts. She was praying in her spirit. She did not say a word.

Tamilore was thinking of herself as she asked this. From hurt to bitter described her childhood. Growing up with her mother had meant bearing the brute of hurtful words. At a point in her life she had hated herself and thought she had to go the extra mile to keep people in her life, just like she had always gone the extra mile to please her mother. All her attempts had failed obviously. She was, no, is a hot tempered person with a mouth that can hurt others. Her childhood had made her so used to hurting people with words. Her anger and bad mouth had become a defense mechanism to protect her wounded heart. Eih, I am wounded. I am hurt.

Then another instruction came to her spirit. Forgive your mother.

That was not possible. Lord, do you know how much she hurt me?

"I just received a word for you, Tamilore. I will give you three days. Get a book. Write down the names of everyone who hurt you and write down everything they did to hurt you. Will you do that?"

"Yes ma," she promised. The instruction seemed easy to obey.

© Deborah Oluwasegun

As Inspired By The Revealer of Secrets

Overflow Books

Please family Episode 9 of Untamed will be out tomorrow

Untamed will be posted on Mondays to Fridays ✅🙏