Sextalkwithdrm

I help women overcome vaginismus.
That is, I coach them till they're able to achieve pe*******on with ease and without pain.

This is one very deep part of my job on here because there are so many emotions that come with finally wanting to have penetrative s*x and not being able to.

The one thing that people expect you to be able to do, eluding you and taking weeks and months to happen.

For every woman I've coached, the experience is different. The timeline is different and to be honest, I'm different too.
But one thing remains the same. Compassion and support.
Because I know it'll eventually happen. But I want my ladies to grow from the experience.

And I'm usually so proud every single time.

Preventing vaginismus is also one other thing I'm passionate about. And that's why the first course I ever created was, "The Wedding night guide for the smart Bride-to-be".
In that course I go through everything a woman needs to know to help her ease into her first time.
I currently started offering it as a 1:1 during the pandemic.
But I hope to resume it as a group class again soon.

So yeah! I wanted to share this...first as a form of awareness about Vaginismus and secondly to just share our joy with you.

Enjoy your weekend...
Love, Dr M♥️ @ Lagos, Nigeria

Often when I come across threads about cheating in relationships, I find that people always want to question whether the couples were having enough s*x or whether the women dressed s*xy enough.

But, the decision to be faithful is a choice and it is enforced by self-discipline and respect for yourself and your partner.
So in that mix, s*x is really just "by the way".

Think of s*x like a catalyst.
If your relationship is healthy, then s*x makes it better and
if its toxic, s*x makes the dynamics even more toxic.

We are socialised to believe that if the s*x is good that everything else will fall into place.
But this is so far from the truth.
At best, you just form an unhealthy attachment to that person because of the s*x.

It is important to develop healthy habits generally for your relationships.
Develop love and respect for yourself, learn how to communicate well and be able to call yourself out when you are slacking.
And develop healthy love, intimacy and communication practices with your partner.

It's also important to note that sometimes the problem is that the s*x is off.
And in which case I would advice that you seek help in figuring out how to make it better for you.

Just as the emotional health of your relationship can get better, the s*xual health can get better too.

The relationship has to work for the s*x to be good. And when the s*x is good, the relationship gets better too. It's like a fun cycle that charges itself.

So you really want to be investing in the different parts that keep your relationship healthy.

Love, Dr M❤

This right here is why people cant make the decision to stay or leave unhealthy relationships.

You keep waiting for the one thing that will happen, the straw that will break the camel's back, the totally unacceptable thing they will do to make you see that it's not worth it.

Let me be the one to tell you that one sign will never be enough for you.
It's why people collect red flags as if they want to use the material for a red evening dress/suit.

It's how you see/read stories of physical abuse, emotional abuse, disrespect, financial abuse happening to one person and you think to yourself, "What would it take for this person to see that all the signs have happened?"

You've been hit, pushed, called names, they're cheating, they dont respect you, the only time they're good is when they're begging you for something but you are still looking for this big sign.

You dont realise that there are no little signs.

We were having a similar conversation in my stories yesterday (you can join us before it disappears) and while preparing for this post, I decided that I'm going to host a free webinar talking about it this month.
I'm going to call it,

"Stop waiting for a Sign, Decide!"

And in this webinar, I'm going to be giving you the exact steps to use in deciding whether a relationship is worth staying in or whether its time to leave.
With these steps, you wont need to be waiting for any signs because you will know very clearly.

And you'll be able to apply these steps to any relationship (romantic, friendships and work).

I'm going to be sending the full information on the webinar to the so if you havent joined the gang, click on the link in my bio to join us.
And if you have a friend you know might need this, tag them so they can join us too.

From personal experiences I know why it is easier to want to wait for a sign. It's also why I know it's not worth it.

You need to consciously make that choice. And I hope this and the webinar gives you the courage.

Enjoy your day...
Love, Dr M♥️

P.s Did I mention that the webinar is free and you can invite as many people as you would like?
Click the link in my bio to join the now😁

I see this happen quite a lot in romantic relationships, friendships, families, work places etc.
These situations where something is really bothering someone but they just always seem to talk themselves out of the hard conversations.

I find that its not like people cant have these conversations, but there are many blocks that people have to it.
So, it can be that;
• You tell yourself that you dont want to make a big deal of the issue.
• You are not sure about how they'd take the conversation so you dont want to "cause fight".
• You dont want to be misunderstood so you'd rather not start the conversation.
• You are not sure you can balance out the conversation, so you swallow it.
• You've had it before and it didnt go well.

All of these are very valid reasons because to be honest, finding the right words to Express our displeasure can be challenging.

But, Its a challenge we need to confront head on.
Because when we dont, what ends up happening is an accumulation of these thoughts and issues and
• You slowly start to build up resentment.
• You may also start to find out you are pulling away from such a person.
• You start to develop a smaller tolerance level towards them leading to more disagreements.
• You start to expect that they should notice something is wrong and approach you.
• You eventually conclude they arent good enough for you and you let them go.
• When you cant let them go, you tell yourself, you'll put them in their place.

Slowly but surely, your "I'm okay", "it's nothing", "I'm tired" will become "you dont take me seriously", "You arent talking to me", "you always do this", "you never listen to me".

But difficult conversations can be just what your relationship needs to move to the next level of intimacy.
For you to approach the conversation with vulnerability and curiosity and really say what you mean.

I guide you through this with my book, "How Can I communicate better?"

Get the book through the link in my bio *xtalkwithdrm

Also, if you have any specific conversations you need help navigating, I can help you make the conversation happen with ease.
Send me a DM and let's schedule your session.

Enjoy your day...
Love, Dr M♥️ @ Lagos, Nigeria