Laugh OUT STR8
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27/02/2019
Fact!!!
MARRY YOUR MATE By Kionionnia wit Apostle Joshua Selman.
6 MATES YOU MUST MARRY
One of the ways your marriage will not add to the rate of divorce in our world today is for you to marry your mate and if you are married already, make your spouse your mate!
You see that statement of ' Am I your mate?' does not apply in marriage. You must marry your mate. I will like to talk on seven dimensions you and the person you want to marry or you have married must be mate.
1. MARRY_YOUR_SPEAKING_MATE Marry someone you can speak together and understand each other. Communication is very crucial in marriage. Don't marry someone that, when you are saying 'A' he or she will be saying ' Z' Once there is dichotomy in your speaking and understanding level, you can't enjoy that marriage. So many men go to bar to hang out with friends and gist till 11pm because they know their wives can't engage in any meaningful intellectual discussion. So many women too prefer to hang out with their friends, because they know their husbands mentality when it comes to vital issues and discussions is very low. Marry your speaking Mate.
2. MARRY_YOUR_SCHOOL_MATE
By this I mean, marry someone you can learn together and improve together. Don't marry ' Mr Know all' or 'Miss Know all'. Don't marry someone who is rigid and not open to new ideas, new ways of doing things, or new innovations. Marriage is a great institution. From day one till death do you part, you will keep learning. Marry your 'school' mate; someone who is ready to learn with you.
3. MARRY_YOUR_SPIRITUAL_MATE: Marriage is not just a social union. It is also a spiritual union. Marry someone who knows the same God you know. Don't marry someone who's believe of God is different from yours. Two can't work together except they be agreed ( Amos 3:3, Joshua 23: 11-15, 2 Corinthians 6:14-18). The spiritual controls the physical, even in marriage. Check for spiritual compatibility in that person you want to marry.
4. MARRY_YOUR_SPENDING_MATE Don't marry someone who is stingy. There are so many expenses to cater for in marriage. A stingy guy in courtship won't suddenly become a generous husband in marriage. Don't marry a lady that has the financial philosophy of ' My husband's money is our money, but my money is my money'. Marry someone who believes in dignity of labour , who is ready to work, not a lazy fellow who just want to be a consumer and not a contributor. Marry someone who is ready to spend and be spent for the growth and success of the family.
5. MARRY_YOUR_SEX_MATE Marry someone you have s*xual feelings for. S*xual feeling is not a sin. It is an instinct God put in every person. S*x plays a major role in the success of any marriage. Any man you don't have emotional feelings for, don't marry the person. If you don't have emotional feelings for that lady, leave her alone. A spiritual being is also a s*xual being. No matter how spiritual you both may be in your marriage, you won't be praying for 24 hours in a day. You won't be reading the Bible or worshipping God 24/7. You will have s*x! You will romance! You will flirt with each other! You will make babies. So, marry someone you can connect with s*xually. It will help you to enjoy your marriage so much!
6. MARRY_YOUR_SOCIAL_MATE: Don't marry someone you won't be proud to go out with. Don't marry someone you will be feeling shy to introduce to people with boldness. Marry someone you are comfortable to hang out with. Marry someone you are socially compatible with. Don't marry an anti- social person.
You might be wondering if you can find all the 'mates' in one person. Yes! The answer is YES! You don't need to marry 6 guys/ladies to have all these mates. One person can be all that for you. If you also work on yourself and build your life, you can be all that for the guy/lady that will marry you.
The promise of God for you is this : 'Seek and read from the book of the LORD: Not one of these shall be missing; none shall be without her mate. For the mouth of the LORD has commanded, and his Spirit has gathered them.' (Isaiah 34:16).
Say it loud and clear ' I shall not lack a mate!'
I hope this blessed someone reading?
Comparative Analysis Between Wives of Today and Those of Yesterday:
1). *Yesterday's Wives* :
Welcome my husband, hope the office was not stressful., your favorite food is ready, let me lead you to the bathroom first, then you take your dinner, you look so tired, am sure you'll be okay after taking your dinner, welcome my one and only.
*Today's Wives*:
Please don't put unnecessary pressure on me, you can go to the fridge pick up the stew, microwave it and boil the remaining rice, I am your wife and not your cook.
2). *Yesterday's Wives*:
Darling stop thinking about our lack of money. It's going to be temporary. God will see us through and we are going to come out of it stronger. After all, we can still feed ourselves and the children. We need to give the Almighty that glory. I am with you through thick and thin, my husband, the owner of my dowry.
*Today's Wives*: ________________Look I am sick and tired of living in this abject poverty with you. Why did you bring me to your house when you know that you are not ready for marriage? Every day is one complaint or the other. Are you the Complainant General of Nigeria. We don't have cars, our house is Face me and slap you, when your mates are in GRAs. Look if you don't find solutions to your problems, you will come back and not find me in this your rotten house.
3). *Yesterday's Wives*: ____________My husband, we only have 2 children, don't you think we should have more. You know children are gifts and mercies from God. And the more the merrier.
*Today's Wives*: _______________Look am sick and tired of this marriage. You won't allow me to rest by your constant urge to have more children. I am okay with our two children. I can't allow you to spoil my figure 8 by bearing another 4 children. You are so wicked that I feel you want to spoil my psychedelic looks. If you dare force me, I will sue you for r**e.
4). *Yesterday's Wives*: ___________My husband, take heart and don't worry. I shall go with you to Zaria. Your being transferred from the glitterati of Abuja to Zaria might be a blessing in disguise. We shall take the advantage of the educational institutions to advance our education. Some disappointments could be a blessing.
*Today's Wives*: ______________Me I can't follow you to Zaria o. God forbid bad thing. From Abuja to Zaria? I can't cope with such a demotion. To start living in a village? You had better look for another wife. I can't live in a city without silver birds, Amigo Supermarket or Dunes
5) *Yesterday's Wives*: __________My husband, I have enough clothes. This N30.000 you are giving me, pls keep it and save for a rainy day.
*Today's Wives*: ________________Why are you so stingy? Do you have super glue in your palms?What an insult. What kind of shopping do you want me to do with N50,000?What can I buy? Is it Swiss lace or Dubai gold. I am disappointed in you. Your mates are giving their wives $5,000 to shop, here you are humiliating me with naira. I don't blame you. It is because I refused to marry Chief Antonio that's why you are messing up with me.
*Yesterday's wives ________________ Darling our children will resume next week, I have bought new bags and sandals for them, I have also kept some money for their text books, may God bless u for their tuition fees.
*Today's wives _____________ Your children are resuming next week, I don't want to hear story of no money o, they will change their school bags, sandals, water bottles etc and their textbooks, make sure the money is completed this time o, afterall they bear your surname not mine.
*Uhhhm!! Though we still have some good wives in today's wives. But Where do you belong?
Yesterday or Today 😳😳?????The liturgist.
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