True Confessions

Main apko batata hoon mairi shadi ko 5 saal hogae lekin jab b biwi k kareeb jata hoon uske yehi bahane hain ..thak gaen hoon. subah jaldi uthna hai. maira dil nahi.. mjhe pasand nahi. mood nahi hai.. phr kabhi karlenge.. doosri shadi b nahi karne deti main ab ek mard hoon jaon to jaon kahan... bht baar bayanat b suna chuka hoon main ek mard ho mairi b jinsi khuwahishat hain ... kaheen bahir jaa k karoonga to bewafa khelaonga ghar main kuch karne ko nahi mil raha hai aisa main main kia karoon plz koi acha suggestion de mjhe

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I'm 24 F and i love 30M but the situation is bad that he is in abroad now, we met in university we spent good time, at the start of relationship when i was not that much serious he ask me about my caste and i said my any random higher caste (Malik Awan) but i lied because i belongs to a very very lower caste that i wasn't able to even mention, and i thought it might impact our relationship so moving forward he went abroad on a good scholarship now things are changed he is asking me that be will send rishta in two months most probably after eid. Now the main tension that I'm facing is that lie that i told him about wrong caste as my parents and all siblings are well settled so he didn't have the idea that i belong to lower caste, what should i do now , i don't want to tell him about my caste it will ruin my respect and this caste system is not even in my control. I'm too much scared that he will say that i lied and all the things comes to my mind and it's giving me so much anxiety.. i haven't discussed this Matter with anyone not even with my family and friends... please give me honest suggestion.
Thank you
jazakAllah