Ajebo Writer

In a taxi…

I’m rocking my newly plaited hair, thanks to my wife.

I smile & greets the lady beside me as I enter but she completely ignores me like I am invisible. Instead, the guy sitting to her left responds

I shrug. After all, this is Lagos & everyone is always angry or frustrated

A few minutes later, I feel a light tap on my arm

“Excuse me sir, good afternoon. I don’t mean to bother you. My name is Sister Beatrice. Please, I’d like to discuss something important with u.”

I turned and took a closer look at her

She wore a very long black skirt & an oversized white top. Her hair was covered with a large plain scarf. She wore no jewellery or makeup

Yep. Definitely Deeper Life, I said in my mind

I wanted to ignore her and pay her back for earlier, but I decided to be the bigger person

“Good afternoon. I’m Kingdavid,” I said with a friendly smile

“I didn’t want to say anything at first, sir, but my spirit wouldn’t let me rest. I have this very strong urge to talk to you. I hope you won’t feel offended,” she said

“Feel free,” I replied

“Are you a Christian? Because even your name is biblical, so I want to believe you’re a Christian.”

“I am.”

“Do you go to church?”

“I do.”

“God bless you, sir. Do you read the Bible?”

“From time to time.”

“Then why are you disobeying and dishonouring God?”

The sudden switch shocked me

“I beg your pardon?” I replied after recovering from the shock

“Why are you grieving the Holy Spirit?” she asked again

The guy sitting beside her coughed, but I knew he was suppressing laughter and not really coughing

“Aunty, I’m confused. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Your hair. You’re a man, but you’re carrying hair like a woman and even wearing earrings. This isn’t scriptural. My Bible tells me that men should not put on women’s things and vice versa. It is sinful and evil.”

The driver and the two passengers in front turned to look at me, all smiling sheepishly

She continued

“You said you’re a Christian, you go to church, and you study the Bible. Let me guess… Christ Embassy?”

“My church has nothing to do with my hair. And if I were to guess your church, I’d say Deeper Life, right?”

“Yes, and I’m very proud of my church and our doctrine because we will never lead you astray or send your soul to hell.”

I was speechless

“See sir, I’ll show you God’s judgement and plan for those who disobey His Word from the Scriptures…”

“There’s nothing you’ll say or read to me from the Bible that I’m sure you don’t even understand yourself, because your behaviour and attitude alone, especially when I entered, clearly show you know nothing about God or His plans,” I said to her

“I’m sorry sir, forgive me, but even the Bible says, ‘Be thou not unequally yoked with unbelievers.’”

“Wow.”

I was speechless again

She continued, “It’s because of the love I have for your soul that I decided to talk to you. Let me show you what the Scriptures say concerning men dressing like women.”

She searched through her handbag for her Bible and just then, the car hit a speed bump

All the contents of her bag spilled over my legs and those of the other passenger

Three different di**os and vi*****rs landed on my lap and the lap of the other guy

“Jesus! Wetin be this?!” the guy screamed

The driver and the passengers in front turned quickly. I saw the driver’s eyes widen in shock and horror

“See preeq ooo! Jesus! See different man preeq! Na human parts dealer and ritualist we carry o!” the driver shouted

“Driver, calm down. It’s not real, it’s just segz toys. Please face front and keep your eyes on the road, I use God name beg you,” I said

“You sure say no be real peniz be that? Because that one look like Calabar man own o!”

“Na fake peniz. This one na original segz toy. I never see this size before o. Abeg Sister, who be your plug?” one of the girls in front asked, but the lady ignored her completely and sat frozen, white as snow

I helped her pick up the different colours and sizes of the vi*****rs and di**os with my handkerchief and dropped them back inside her bag because she remained still and speechless

Then I threw the handkerchief out through the window after using style to smell it.
It was smelling yansh yansh

“Driver, please I’ll stop here, sir,” she whispered, her hands shaking as she tried to get money from her bag to pay

I tapped her hand lightly and told her not to bother, that I would pay. Then I stepped down so she could get out of the car

“God bless you sir,” she said quietly and humbly

“Have a very amazing and wonderful night, Sister,” I said with a wink before entering the taxi again with a smile on my face

We move

Lagos

Ajebo Writer

©️ AjeboWriter Kingdavid