Second Firsts

I think we are in a relationship with our environment. A real relationship.

There is an exchange that takes place between us and the view, the trees, the birds, the home, the plants. Whatever it is we are surrounded by.

As I am sitting here drinking my coffee looking at the view, I notice the air moving.

The clouds hovering. The trees standing. I am surrounded by another entity.

A presence.

An awareness that just sits there waiting for me to move, to feel.

To experience my day.

Our most precious companion.

Who surrounds you every day. Tell me.

With love,
Christina

Approaching the 20 year mark since Bjarne passed away, and as I am writing this I am thinking that for the people who have not experienced such a loss, they cannot understand why anyone would write about it 20 years later.

They have not experienced the time dilation we have.

They have not had otherworldly experiences like this.

They can’t get it.

I wouldn’t get it either.

It’s unfathomable to understand what 20 years feels like to someone who lost a human being from their physical reality.

It makes no sense.

I was out with my girls for dinner the other day planning where we would go on the anniversary, and we were talking about the fact that it had been 20 years.

For them it’s nearly their whole life he has been gone. It’s their dad.

It’s everything.

This isn’t even about grief.

It’s about living in a reality that removed one of the two most important people in their life.

For them it’s identity. It’s language.

It’s so much more than just saying grief.

Isn’t it?

With reflection ✨✨✨
Christina