MotherLift

Apologizing After Conflict - Morgan Myers - 2-3 Min Read

Apologizing is one of the hardest things to do, especially when you’ve got a strong sense of justice, right vs wrong, and pride. Here are 3 steps to getting into the headspace you need to apologize:

1️⃣ There is no winning in relational conflict... ⚔️ The whole goal is to connect. 🤝 Of course, there are times when one person is objectively right or wrong, but if we keep our focus on connecting rather than winning, we will nurture our relationships instead of compete within them. 🌱

2️⃣ The same humility you show others will inevitably reflect back to you. 🥂 This is not always the case, but I’m a firm believer that if you can humble yourself and admit your mistakes, you’re setting up your relationships to maintain that dynamic. ♻️ (How impactful is that for your kids to observe too!)

3️⃣ There is more to apologizing than, “I was wrong." 🙇‍♀️ Sometimes you might agree to disagree. If you’re wanting to preserve the relationship, consider empathizing with their emotional response to you. If you don’t feel like it’s a time you need to admit wrong, then take the time to observe the feelings they're feeling and validate them. If you can show empathy and compassion to them, it may soften their heart to show you the same. 🤟

I don't know if conflict ever gets easier, but repair definately does. Stay humble, stay open, and stay willing. 🙌

What are some words you've used when apologizing?

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"Idealizing Motherhood Roles" - Guest Writer: Leigh Anne - 3-4 Minute Read

Almost two years ago, I left my full-time job to be a stay-at-home parent.

During my time as a working mom, I spent so many nights crying as I fell asleep because I felt like I was missing my son's big moments. I obsessed over finding ways to make staying at home financially possible. Now, however, I know that I idealized being a stay-at-home parent.

Staying home home has been harder than I expected, and I feel guilty/ungrateful for feeling that way. I knew it would be an adjustment, but I didn't realize how stir-crazy and lonely I would feel. (Even before the world shut down due to the global pandemic.)

Most days we stay in pajamas, make huge messes, eat random things all day, and watch too many episodes of something with an annoying theme song.

Now that I’ve experienced both being a working full-time and staying home full-time, I realize that one isn’t better for me than the other. When I worked, I romanticized staying home with babies, but now that I’m home, I realize it isn’t a fix-all for my parenting stress.

I am grateful to have the choice to do either, but whichever road I choose, I know I have to fight to be present with my kids, make time for myself to feel like me, and maintain being a part of community.

To this end, I’ve started leaving the house alone for at least 4 hours on the weekend. Before this intentional change, there were weeks that I didn’t leave our house at all. Sometimes I just pick up coffee and sit in the car, or drive around town to see what’s changed.

Communally, I’ve been meeting with a group of friends every Tuesday night since May 2020. We sit in my front yard whether it’s 100 degrees, or 30. I also try for a “socially distanced” walk everyday with a friend. Again, even when the weather isn’t great. Lastly, I began waterpainting in my attic during nap time, something I did alot prior to having kids.

At the beginning, these changes made me feel so guilty, but as time has moved on, these changes improve my mood, and help me be a better mom. It's 100% worth it.

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Have you found your balance in your parenting role?