Unus Mundus Project

On this winter solstice,
with the year almost at its end,
I think back to all that has passed.
There is a lot that could be said about the overall state of the world but I will instead share something personal, challenging and hopefully empowering, I have been facing.

Before I had my double mastectomy this time last year,
I made a casting of my chest.
While the silicon was being brushed onto my bare skin I wept, knowing that this impression would be the only thing remaining of this part of my body after it was cut from me.

I made a wax form with the impression,
packed that into sand,
melted it out,
then poured molten iron into the void.

This sculpture was the armor I prepared before my surgery.
A symbolic act meant to help strengthen my resolve,
fortify my character,
and immortalize a memory.

Far beyond skin deep, that operation changed me.
Even with the reconstruction, I often feel a stranger in my body.
Numbness covers my chest and goes back all the way to my spine,
pain lingers in strange places and my confidence falters.

I do my best to combat the invasive thoughts and feelings..
I find that focusing on physical actions that follow a conditional logic help the most with overcoming the darkness.

If I work out five times a week,
then I will be stronger.
If I sit and meditate for an hour every day,
then my mind will be clearer.
If I eat healthy each meal,
then my body will feel better,
If I make my art,
then all of my life will benefit.

This year I have been diligent at practicing these statements and in doing so,
have worked to turn away from the cycle of toxicity that depression so effortlessly propels.
Yet even with this discipline, each day has its struggle and even more so knowing that I will be needing more surgery in the not so distant future.

Regardless, I cannot deny the results of my practice.
And so, if iron can transform into something as beautiful and complete as this sculpture…
with perseverance, immense energy and some help holding the vessel along the Way…
So too can I.

Happy winter solstice to all 🌬️
Whatever darkness you may be facing,
let the solstice remind us that brighter days are on the horizon.
🤍

20 years ago today, I dreaded my hair.

There are few things in my life that I have had as long as these locks.
And few things in life that I have loved as deeply.

They are an embodiment of memory,
Pieces of time,
Strands of connection to my past.
Each dreadlock has been a companion through the journey
and together a comfort, a crown and at times a refuge.

This is most often empowering, a reminder of the story that shaped me.
But the line between love and attachment can be a tricky thing and the stories we tell ourselves are not always true.

Whether we like it or not, our physical appearance changes the world we live in.
I only faintly remember that 15 year old girl with the thin straight blonde hair.
I cannot recall what it felt like to be that person, to move through the world like that.
Perhaps it doesn’t matter, it is just a superficial thing anyway, right?

As I move past 35, still struggling to accept this new version of my body post-surgery,
knowing well that age only goes in one direction,
I am more and more curious about what the experience of that young girl feels like while I am, by most standards, still considered young.

With two decades of memories wrapped within these locks,
I feel I need to let them go.
It physically hurts to say that,
it makes me so uncomfortable,
so terribly sad I cry,
such an immense fear and anxiety.

That is exactly why I need to take them out.
With all of life, I believe if something incites such an intense reaction, rooted in love or pain,
it is important that it is explored, taken apart, maybe put back together or maybe left empty for something new.

I have already taken out a handful in the front. Each one is painstaking to remove and feels like an open wound each time I do but I cannot deny that it also feeds a curiosity in me that feels liberating.

I am so grateful for our two decades together and maybe after I am done exploring I will lock them back up again, who knows.
But today, I will think only of how much love I have for them,
How much I will miss them when they are gone,
And set my sights forward,
into the uncomfortable darkness,
letting curiosity lead the way,
towards a greater version of myself.

I am an artist of craft, not concept.
Control over the materials and the power to transform them,
it is for me, paramount.

And so for pieces I make like this one with such strict geometry, one line out of place is unacceptable to me. This makes alignment perhaps the most critical part.

There were two parts of this sculpture that were the judge of my technical ex*****on.
One was the line down the points of the angle where I am looking in the first photo.
The other was the curve of the cascade, seen in the second.

The other most important part of an artwork for me, is the mystery.
As with most of my work, I did not want any visible welds on the piece, that included the baseplates.
To accomplish this, I capped the bottom of each tube, drilled as large a hole as I could in the baseplate and welded the lines in place from the bottom, shown in the third photo.

I love when I come across a work of art and wonder…
Now how exactly did they do it?
Perhaps someone will see this piece and ask that question...
or place their eye down the line of tips
or follow the cascade of the curve…
and feel satisfied, just as I do.

Been building a sculpture for this past month that today I installed on its plinth under the historic blast furnaces of Bethlehem Steel!

This Thursday October 9th at 4:30pm at the Bethlehem Visitors Center at there will be an unveiling for the work for anyone in the area who would like to come!

I haven’t really been able to talk or share much about it as it was under wraps until recently but this week I’ll fill you in.

Also as part of Steel Weekend here in Bethlehem, I will be hosting a free workshop this Saturday October 11th at 11am on the plaza in front of the I’ll be teaching participants a creative process of mine which I use for 3D sketching sculpture ideas with paper and string.
More info on that later.

Hope to see you there!