Personal development that won’t make you want to eye roll yourself in to a different dimension.
Rumored to have been the milk mans baby, I got catapulted into a life that was a fu***ng train wreck from the very beginning.
My dad died in a car accident when I was three and I was left to be raised by a narcissistic, mentally ill mother that either completely ignored me, or lived to destroy me with her words.
The abuse in that house caused so much emotional devastation that I
Just. Couldn't. Manage.
So, I turned to booze and drugs to numb myself for as many years as I could.
I was unwanted.
I was unloved.
I wasn't good enough.
I lived the kind of pain that destroys from the inside out.
And you know what they say about children not embraced by the village --- they'll burn it down to feel it's warmth.
And that’s exactly what I did.
I woke up one day about twenty years later and I was so miserable I didn't want to get out of bed.
By then, I had two kids, was in a loveless marriage and I needed to wake up and get my s**t together.
I made the decision that very day and have been working on it ever since.
Moral of this story?
What is YOUR capacity for self-awareness?
Getting honest with yourself is hard. Facing the undeniable truth that YOU are the one that has led yourself to the place you’re currently at is uncomfortable.
Taking responsibility and being accountable for your own life is difficult, but it’s courageous.
Learning to love the good things, the "bad" things, and the ugly things, shows you that you’re actually living.
Feeling your way through your pain is the work that matters.
You don't have to lie to yourself about your good qualities or your flaws. Embrace them.
And there will be days you feel like you can’t possibly take anymore, but tomorrow will come.
And that's what "awake" means.
Being "awake" isn't some magical spiritual manifestation.
It's going through a process of self-examination.
It's getting to know yourself, your patterns, your triggers, your likes, your dislikes.
It’s being REAL.
It's dealing with the pain that is inevitable in life.
It's letting go of the things you know aren't right for you.
It's saying yes to the things that are.
It's taking responsibility for your choices.
It's telling your truth no matter who is watching.
It's knowing that the choices you make today are the ones that will bring your results tomorrow.
It's knowing that everything, good or bad, happening in your life, has one common denominator - YOU. And you get to choose whether it makes you or breaks you.
It's asking yourself *honestly* who you really are, who you want to be, and what you really want.
It’s learning how to accept yourself.
And it's a life long process.
You don't have to choose between a "good" life and a hot ass mess because the reality is that life is both.
Stop putting up with your own bulls**t. You will bleed all over everybody else until you do.
And what you have to offer as a human being, is needed.
