Misty Kelly

I still feel this in echoes. This was incredibly powerful this morning! Anyone who has battled terminal or critical illnesses firsthand understands this complex swirl of joy and relief, yet is downright heartbroken over something we knew was potentially coming.
Handling complex health issues and long-term caregiving can take a toll on the caregiver’s physical and emotional health. At the end of the day, the caregiver must continue forward even once the caregiving has ended.
I can vividly remember afterwards thinking "All I have been living for is supporting them and fighting this fight along side them so that they aren't alone. Now they are gone and I'm really unsure of what to do next." Everything I had planned and worked out over the last several months/years all of a sudden seemed like a million years ago. I knew what needed to be done, we had discussed it many times over, but in that very moment I still had the initial reaction of uncertainty of what comes next.
Having a plan for ex*****on was priceless for me. Knowing on paper what we had planned to do was the only thing that gave me peace in the end.
In a moment in the final hours after having my father's difibrillator shut off (per our agreed protocol), my father turned to me in fear telling me that it was the wrong decision.
It hit me like a MAN, right there in that very moment. Why did this hurt so much!?
I could only ever find solace in the fact that I didn't make the wrong decision. I know that there were no other options. I know that we had exhausted every treatment, every trial, and every avenue and my father was just at the end. I know that WE made that decision together before the fear set in.
I do not know what would have happened or how I would have ultimately coped with the final days of his life if we had never had those really uncomfortable conversations. If you haven't sat down with your family and had these types of discussions DO IT. Schedule the time. There are too many possibilities in this world for things to potentially catch us off guard.

Let's not make our memories tied to our family members and loved ones tarnish by our lack of knowing how they want to be loved and remembered.

Thank you to everyone that had a part in assisting me through everything, I will forever be grateful for your compassion and care.