The Glitter Scar Project

~You are enough, just the way you are~

Kate's Story:
On February 15th 2016, I was at Wegmans in the produce section when I received a call from my doctor. I
answered and the only words I could remember from the call were 3 simple words that changed my life
forever, “You have cancer”.
I left my cart full of items right in the middle of the produced section, walked out of the store, and drove
home in what seemed like slow motion. I walked in the house numb as I had to tell my husband that I
had cancer. My two year old daughter, Annabelle, was napping at the time. All I wanted to do was wake
her up and hold her and pray that I would wake up too. I kept thinking this had to be a dream.
I had seen my mother fight cancer twice before this and she had just been diagnosed again for the third
time a month before I received my own diagnosis phone call in January 2016. I had literally dropped to
my knees and bawled hearing that she would have to go through chemo and surgery yet again. My
mother was a true warrior. She seemed unwavered every time she had been diagnosed. Now, being in
these shoes myself, it was even more incredible to me that she took her diagnosis with such grace. It
was terrifying and unreal.
After receiving my phone call I went through a variety of scans, tests, and doctors appointments.
Appointments where they told me they would be cutting off both my breasts. Appointments where they
told me I would be poisoned with chemo for months and the chance of reoccurrence was very high. The
only appointment out of all these that brought me to tears was the appointment where they told me
that I would likely not be able to have children again. I was devastated that I would not be able to
complete our family. We attempted IVF quickly after my double mastectomy before I had to begin
chemo, but it failed and I didn’t have time to try another round before starting chemotherapy. All I could
do was pray that I would be okay.
I went through my treatments and prayed that the medication wouldn’t make me infertile. I went
through mouth sores, weight loss, complete hair loss, nausea, fatigue like I have never felt in my life,
aches, pains, neuropathy, and so much more. I learned that my cancer was genetic, which would give it
an even greater chance of reoccurrence. It also meant that my daughter has a 50/50 chance to having
the gene and getting cancer when she is older.
Through my treatment, my mother, who was fighting cancer herself, was with me every step of the way.
She guided me through and gave me strength. She helped me care for my daughter when my husband
had to work and gave me pep talks when I didn’t think I could carry on. My husband was not deterred by
my lack of hair or breasts. He was always by my side and made sure that my confidence in myself did not
waver. I am so happy that my daughter was only 2 at the time of my diagnosis. She does not remember
all of the terrible thing I went through.
After surgery and chemo I was declared no evidence of disease. It is a common misconception that after
all the cancer is out of your body that you are cured. You are never cured. I still have scans and
bloodwork to be sure that the cancer does not return. I had a radical hysterectomy to be sure that my
cancer did not return in my reproductive system but only after having my second daughter. I refused to
give up hope or on my dream of having a second baby. After 3 years, we conceived our daughter, Grace,
naturally. She is a true miracle.
My cancer gene and type means that my cancer can return at any time. It is a constant black cloud over
my head that I can never shake. Every little ache and pain is a fear that the cancer has returned. These

fears are intensified by smells, sounds, and sights from my cancer journey: the smell of rubbing alcohol,
the smell of the rug at my oncologist office, the sight of a woman in a chemo scarf. It sends me into a
spin of tears and shaking. Taking me right back to the hell I went through. The emotional and physical
hell. But the worst part of my journey, the hell I walk through every single day is knowing that the
disease that did this to me, ultimately took my best friend from me. My mother passed away from
cancer on February 12th , 2022. After fighting for the 7th time, her body could not fight any more. She took
her diagnosis with grace like a stoic warrior. She is truly my hero in every single way. She never
complained, never questioned why her, never wished it upon anyone else, never gave up. She was
always positive and strived to instill that positivity into others she touched like her family, friends,
coworkers, and other cancer patients. My mom wanted to help to uplift and give hope to those fighting.
I continue that mission now with my nonprofit, The Nancy Beicke Project, named after my late mother. I
make care packages for cancer patients in the WNY area to bring them a little bit of joy in their time of
extreme hardship. I hope that these packages make them feel less alone and lift them up, just as my
mom would do for the patients she came in contact with. It is my privilege to carry on her spirit through
this project.

Kate Backlas

Amanda Ocasio's Story:

“You are not the darkness you endured. You are the light that refused to surrender.”--John Mark Green

When I first heard about The Glitter Scar Project, it wasn’t so much a question of IF I was going to participate, as it was a question of WHICH of my many surgical scars I wanted to focus on. When I was a few months old, I had surgery on both eyes to attempt to correct Strabismus. When I was four years old, I had a chest wall lipoma removed. Between age 6 and age 32, I had a total of 5 surgeries split between two different VP shunts which were used to treat Hydrocephalus. At age 32, I had an endoscopic third ventriculostomy to replace the second shunt when it failed. A year later, I ended up having a total thyroidectomy to remove what ended up being a thankfully benign, multinodular goiter. Two years after that, I had shoulder surgery to repair a labral tear, and went through almost a year’s worth of rehab. I’ve also had a total of 5 laser peripheral iridotomies.

In the end, I decided to focus on the scar from the lipoma removal, and the scar I was left with on my abdomen, from each time they had to enter through my abdomen to repair a shunt. I’ve always been the most self-conscious about those two scars.

I decided to wait till after my photo shoot to write this, because I wanted to be able to reflect on the experience as a whole. When I was changing for bed the evening of my photo shoot, I found myself looking at my reflection in the mirror. I left the glitter on both scars after the shoot was done. Seeing the scars glistening the way they were reminded me of how I’ve managed to shine through difficult situations. I looked at the scar on my chest, and I remembered how after that procedure, the doctor’s had told my mother that I needed to take it easy. That didn’t stop me from asking if I could go roller skating the minute we got home from the hospital! I looked at the scar on my abdomen, and I remembered how much school I missed each time my shunt failed and I ended up in the hospital. It had gotten so bad that there had once been a note on my report card, saying I needed to improve my attendance. My mother worked with me to make sure I proved my doctors and my teachers wrong, and that’s why I say my Masters degrees are just as much hers as they are mine.

I now realize that my scars are nothing to be ashamed of. They are daily reminders I can persevere through anything.

Owning my scars was only half the reason I wanted to participate in The Glitter Scar Project. For me, as a survivor of domestic violence, this was also about taking control and owning my body–putting it on display in and on my own terms. The universe has granted me so many bonus lives, and this was such a beautiful way for me to celebrate them.

One of our beautiful ladies is continuing her story. She’s pregnant with her 2nd baby and it’s a BOY. I’m so grateful she asked me to be a part of her beautiful announcement!! Congratulations 💙💙💙🦋🦋 see her full story here https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.122615730552082&type=3&mibextid=q5o4bk