Bachmeyer Press

🌀 Listening to someone's story actually gives us the superhuman capacity to *feel* what another person is feeling.

Even if it's as mundane as what they ate for breakfast, listening to someone tell a story will literally light up the same exact parts of our brain and nervous system that light up in the storyteller.

What's that you say???

Yes. Stories = magical!

What I'm describing here is this beautiful and surreal phenomenon driven by things scientists call mirror neurons. Or Buddhists call inter-being.

So, stories are felt experiences. We all know this!

When making a film, I like to consider how I want the audience to feel. Invariably, I think it needs to be positive. But as a friend recently reminded me, all feelings are valid and worth sharing. And in fact, people like stories with conflict. Especially if that conflict is then overcome.

What would the world be if we only told happy stories?

In my practice of meditation, I have come to understand that no feeling is "better"/"worse" than the other. Anger is a good example. Often anger is said to be "bad." We discipline our kids out of anger. But anger doesn't like to be told it's bad. Judgement of our feelings can only exacerbate or make us cling to them more. But when we see our feelings like anger as a friend, a messenger, our relationship to them changes. From that space of non-judgement, we can explore the feeling. We can hear what it's trying to say.

I take this practice of non-judgement wherever I go in the story space. It helps me to listen deeply without my own thoughts getting in the way.

One caveat: being a storyteller doesn't mean I let myself cry with people. Even if I might cry telling their story later on. When listening, there is the boundary that their story, while felt by me, is not my own. It's about honoring and creating a safe, resonant space for them to share.

So, when you share your story, do you notice your feelings as they rise? Do you judge the story as "good" or "bad" based on how it makes you feel? Who do you have in your life that offers you a space for resonance?

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