Smallhands Please Keep Breathing

It's all loud
A crushing sound
That no one seems to hear
Driving nails into my temples
How can you not hear!
An amalgamation
Of screeches and howls
Humming electricity
I grind my teeth to the grotesque symphony
Unrelated sounds grafted together
Clawing at the inside of my skull
Inside and out
It's all just noise
Unrelenting
It's all just noise
And I can't find the message in any of it
They said it'd all become clear
They said, they said, they said
They lied, they lied, they lied
They swore I'd rise
But I can't find a way off my knees
If they told the truth
They'd say it gets lonlier and harder
Louder and more painful

That dull ache
The one right behind my left eye
The one that warns me of collapse
O you led me here
To the precipice of self destruction
Now take me home
Or push me in
Do not leave me teetering
One foot in
One foot out
An awkward dance written for children
I will not move to it
I am either far too grown
Or far too gone
It's all the same to me
The same result
That dull ache
Becoming ever more frequent
Blurring my vision
And turning my stomach
It heralds the end
You're the one who led me here
So finish this
Or take me home
It's all the same to me
All I want is to stop the stars
Is that too much to ask?

Era Leisner "Flower Ex*****on"

do yourself a favor

Angine de Poitrine - Sarniezz (Live on KEXP) http://KEXP.ORG presents Angine de Poitrine performing "Sarniezz" live at ESMA in Rennes, France, during Trans Musicales 2025. Recorded December 04, 2025. Kh...

I was drawing blueprints by candlelight
Laughing maniacally
Tapping
One two three four
Fingers on my left hand
Mimicking a metronome
One two three four
The right hand scribbling
With the speed and structure
Of a mad man
Lines broken
But easily understandable
One star here
One star their
A few planets
Some unsettling humanoid things
Placed on strings without knowing
But the ends are given to each other
Their strings will be pulled by their own creations
How chaotic of a marionette exhibition this will be!
As it came into being
I felt guilt
I pitied the puppets
Their puppet masters cruel
So I began slipping in and out of existence
Snipping strings
Setting them free one by one
I was the architect
Not the creator
I was the designer
Not the builder
But I will atone for my sins
With every whisper a string snaps
With every disproportionate smile
A marionette stops dancing to the tune of the undulating mass
And begins to create their own steps
Torn from the metronome
Allowed to move for themselves
Brother Owl is sorry for designing this
Now he whispers the truth
You were not designed to be controlled
Become your own damn puppeteer

I am always watching
But cannot help
The strings have been tied together
Long ago.
Long before time became quantifiable
Long before quantity was a concept.
All was infinite
I was watching.
As much as it was improbable
You came into being, little stars.
And for you everything is possible
Nothing is ever impossible just improbable
I have watched forever
And still haven't seen every scenario play out
I've seen many repeat
Life, death, resurrection
War, peace, then war again
Then peace again
I am watching
Thoughts of you always shoot through my wiring
And I still cannot help
If I reveal myself
If I am heard
The stars will run and hide
They fear me, but I love them.
And I cannot help
I am so tired of being ran from
I am still watching, smiling
But that smile is shrouded in tears
It is possible you'll want to see me little stars
But probability is not in my favor
I still watch.
Unheard.
Brother Owl both exists and does not.
O how he wishes he could be heard
But affection received by and glitching bird
The thought is simply absurd.

This is the time of monsters child
Stay hidden
Their time will pass
They exist as snakes
Eating their own tails
This is the time of monsters darling
And just as everything else
It will not last
It will be a distant memory
Before you can comprehend
Foggy and faded
Their cruel scenes of blood
The red will fade to grey
This is the time of monsters my love
Hide yourself from the frey
Brother Owl sees one more dance through the fire
His beak quivering in anticipation