Dallas Psychotherapy

Is it Time to Quit my Job?

The ever-classic new wave band, The Clash, said it best, "Should I stay or should I go now; If I go there will be trouble, and If I stay it will be double." Knowing when to leave a job is difficult, and it can be fraught with self-doubt and fear about the future. However, I can provide a few steps that can provide clarity.

What are my reasons for leaving?

This seems simple, but when you're really unhappy or exhausted, your reasons can seem more abstract and harder to pin down. Try to summarize in two sentences or less your complaint about your job.

Is it Transient or Persistent?

If your complaint is something that may change, it could be worth waiting it out. For example, if your new boss seems to be micro-managing you, it could be transient and diminish as they get used to their new position (or it might not, but time could be an important factor). On the other hand, if your job requires you to work 3rd shift, that's something that may be permanent, and bears examining if you want a new job.

What do you Want?

This is perhaps the hardest question that can be formulated in the human language. It can be easy to say that we don't want something. But a successful career move generally involves moving away from something we don't like and moving towards something we do like. Before you make any drastic decisions, consider what you want to move towards.

What are you willing to sacrifice?
You may be considering a small move (e.g. working for another firm in your town) to a large move (changing careers entirely). The follow-up question to "What do you want," is this: "What are you willing to do?" Are you willing to go back to school? Take a pay-cut? Pay you due in a lower-level position? Be honest with yourself, because you may find the proverbial juice isn't worth the squeeze when it comes to a major career shift.

These questions can give you some insight, but they're tough questions to answer (especially on your own). At Dallas Psychotherapy, we love helping people sort through major life decisions. If you need help give us a call at 469-225-0344 or visit our website at www.dallaspsychotherapy.com

How Much Drinking is Too Much?

In the midst of social distancing and all the turmoil of the pandemic, many people have found themselves drinking more alcohol than they usually do. Some people have started to ask themselves, "Am I drinking too much?" That's a complex question, and it can be difficult to tell.

The CDC recommends that adult males drink no more than 2 drinks a day and females no more than one drink a day. I know when I first learned about those guidelines, I was surprised how low the recommendation was. Furthermore, the CDC defines a "drinking binge" as more than 5 drinks in 2 hours for men, and more than 4 drinks in 2 hours for women.

You may be thinking, "That's all well and good, but I'm not concerned with counting my drinks; I want to know if I have a problem." As a counselor there are a few questions that I recommend clients ask themselves to see if their drinking might be problematic.

Is it a Choice, A Coping Skill, or a Habit?

While sometimes we drink because we enjoy a drink, there can be lots of other reasons we drink that can lead to unhealthy habits. Is one of your primary reasons for drinking that you're stressed? Or that it's how you turn your "happiness switch" on? Or is it so habitual you couldn't really say why you drink. If you answered yes to any of those questions, you might want to explore your drinking.

Can I stop?

One of the ways I define addiction is this: "Using an external substances to manage an internal problem, despite mounting evidence that the costs outweigh the benefits." So if you're finding that the costs outweigh the benefits, can you successfully stop or reduce drinking? If the answer is no, that might indicate your drinking is worth exploring.

Am I Facing Consequences

Finally, are you facing any consequences: financial, emotional, social, or legal from your drinking. These consequences can range from severe (jail time due to a DUI) to relatively moderate (arguments with friends when you drink). However, if you're facing significant consequences you should probably think about your drinking and whether it's still serving you.

These questions are just the start, but if you find yourself being more concerned about your drinking after reading this, please reach out for help from a mental health professional or you can call the following hotline:

Substance Abuse & Mental Health Administration's National Hotline
1-800-662-4357

Therapist, Psychologist, Psychiatrist, Counselor, What does it All mean?

The jargon and professional titles in mental health can be completely confusing. What's the difference between all these different providers? Who should you go to? Below I'll list some of the common mental health providers and what makes them stand out.

Psychiatrists
Psychiatrist attend medical school unlike all the other professions that attend graduate programs specifically to learn how to conduct therapy, and as such they are the only profession that can prescribe meds in the state of Texas. Currently, many psychiatrists focused on medication management (though some can and will do psychotherapy quite well). Because their training is medical in nature, they are going to focus on the biological origins of your mental health and the focus for many psychiatrists (but not all) will be your medications.

Licensed Professional Counselors
LPC's are people who have completed a master's degree in counseling. There are two major philosophical stances that make counselor unique: their commitment to a developmental perspective and the wellness approach. The developmental approach is a fancy way of saying that counselors understand we go through different periods in our life that cause us challenges even if it doesn't rise to the level of a diagnosis. So counselor help not only people with diagnoses, but ones who go trough difficult issues like divorces, job changes, adjustments to life with children, and more. Counselors also approach issues from a wellness perspective which means that we're not just trying to treat disorders, but also trying to help people learn the skills that are important to maintain a healthy sense of well-being.

Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFTs)
Like LPC's marriage and family therapists attend masters programs, with an emphasis on how family systems work. A family therapist is aware that when a family or couple attends therapy that it's not just one person that is causing the problems. Rather, all the members of a system can be contributing in some way to the issues. LMFTs are great at helping sort out those systemic issues, and while they have special training in coupes and family, they see individuals with a wide range of issues.

Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSWs)
Clinical social workers are individuals with a background in social work that provide therapy. Now, when we hear the word social worker, many of us think of CPS case managers, however that is just a small part of social work. Philosophically an LCSW has a background in understanding how practical issues such as housing, family environment, finances, food security, and more can have real impacts on mental health. They provide counseling with a special eye towards barriers to achieving mental health.

Psychologists
Psychologists are the only profession in mental health that requires a PhD before they can start practicing independently (though many of the other professions do have optional PhD programs). They have extensive training in assessment as well as the medical model of treatment, and you will frequently see psychologists working in areas such as inpatient hospitals where they work with severe disorders such as treatment resistant depression or schizophrenia.

So which provider is right for you? Of the non-medical providers, I find that the differences seem relatively minor once the provider is out of school and has experiences under their belt. The most important thing are, (1) does this provider have experience in working with the things I need help with and (2) Do I feel comfortable with them?

If you still have questions feel free to give us a call at 469-225-0344 or send us a message through our website at www.dallaspsychoterapy.com. We love being able to connect people with the right provider and educating them about the mental health field.

Can't I get over it without medication?

**Note** What follows doesn't constitute medical advice, I'm a psychotherapist, not a psychiatrist, and individual situations vary and may require a professional consultation**

Many people when they first start therapy are wary of medication. You might have had a bad experience with medication. Or perhaps you're afraid that you'll become "hooked" on the medication, which is the last thing you want to do.

First, I'd like to de-stigmatize medication. Psychiatric medications aren't inherently evil, nor is there any shame to be had in taking them, any more than taking blood pressure medication would be shameful for someone with hypertension.

However, sometimes medications can have undesirable side-effects. The important thing about side effects is to talk to you doctor about them. All of the psychiatrists that I refer to want people to let them know immediately if there's a side effect so that they can determine if there might be a better medication or something they can do to address them. If I've said this once I'll say it a thousand times: "It's better to bother your doctor (or therapist) than to suffer in silence needlessly."

Research does tend to show that the best effects for many disorders (such as depression or anxiety) result from taking medication and participating in therapy. The way I explain it to my patients is that medication can take the edge off and give you some symptom relief so that you can do great work in therapy.

So do you HAVE to take medications? That's an individual decision, and at Dallas Psychotherapy we want to honor your right to make your own medical decisions. And many issues don't necessarily require medication. A messy break-up or a rough time a work may not require medicine a all.

If you're wondering, you should ask your therapist. In general I have found the following two experiences with medication (1) The scariest part is making the appointment with your doctor, after that the medicine isn't quite as ominous as it seemed in our head, and (2)The symptom relief can be life-changing.

So TLDR; yes you can get better with medication, but it may take a little longer or you might have symptoms that are a little more sever in the meantime. I encourage everyone to realize that psychiatric medications are a really helpful part of caring for your mental health and your primary care doctor or psychiatrist can be an essential part of our mental health team.

If you're anything like me, it can be hard to separate from work and your obligations. But this holiday, I committed to taking some time off.

So what did I do on my first day off? I tried to make those blue cookies Baby Yoda ate. Much like life, the cookies were messy and far from perfect, but also pretty good! I hope this holiday you all get time to spend doing something enjoyable, that's not work, and allow it to be imperfect.

You're being chased by a bear in the middle of the woods, without any signs of human life for miles around. While you're being chased, how often do you think about your 3rd grade teacher?

I'm hoping the answer is zero (and if it's not, give me a call. We may need to talk about how to prioritize appropriately 😉). When you're being chased by the bear (let's call him Clarence), your mind is fully focused on Clarence and little else. It's a process that is frequently called "cognitive narrowing." It means that once you have a perceived threat, you thoughts focus on that to the exclusion of other things.

That's a good thing in many situations because it allows you to do things like avoid car accidents or be fully focused on how to solve problems. It becomes a problem in modern society, when you experience that narrowing and the threat is not even truly a threat. For example, when you're trying to go to sleep, and your mind won't let you think of anything but that time at work you said something really stupid.

The antidote is to broaden your thoughts. Consider all the times you said something really smart (instead of that one tiny mistake). Consider all the positive things that have happened. In short, you have to look at the big picture.

Now that's easier said than done, and you may need help learning how to do that. If you want to explore that with a professional give us a call at 469-225-0344 or visit our website at www.dallaspsychotherapy.com to learn how we can help.

Take a Good Look at Yourself.

How often do you really look at yourself in the mirror. And I mean really look at yourself? All too often, we're focused on looking in the mirror in a functional way. Does everything look good? Or maybe it's judging yourself against how you should look? And if you're anything like me, it's confirming that I have dodged the male pattern baldness bullet for another day before I head off to my next appointment.

You're pretty amazing. And if you're like most of the people I spend time with, you're going to dismiss that last statement as either (a) Pure, unadulterated cheesiness or (b)undeserved flattery. However, every human being is amazing in my eyes. I think of all the ways things could of gone wrong, but they didn't. I know what it's like to learn to drive in Texas when you're sixteen, so honestly it's a miracle than any of us live past that age. All the life experiences and personality tendencies make for a unique life, that cannot be replicated. In my high school years, there were multiple twins in our school, and while you might confuse them based on physical appearance, they were incredibly different when it came to personalities.

I would encourage you to look at the mirror with a beginner's eye, as if you've never really seen yourself. What is there to appreciate, to marvel at, and to love? The world needs you because, despite the infinite diversity and complexity in this world, there is only a single person that will ever be like you, and that person is of incalculable value to this world.