Parents Without Guilt

Guilt, in its essence, is not inherently negative. It can be a sign of empathy, conscience, and a deep sense of responsibility—qualities that are invaluable in parenting. However, the problem arises when we parent from a place of guilt. This often leaves us feeling worse, spiraling into a cycle of self-criticism and feelings of inadequacy. The mantra of “not being good enough” can become a haunting refrain, overshadowing the joys of parenting and our successes.

Parenting out of guilt tends to focus on short-term fixes aimed at alleviating our discomfort, rather than addressing the deeper needs of ourselves and our children. It can lead to overcompensation, inconsistency, and even resentment. Recognizing this pattern is the first step towards change. It’s about acknowledging that while our intentions may be rooted in love, the outcomes of guilt-driven actions often do not serve anyone well. WANT MORE? READ THE BLOG. (link in bio)

✨Dear parents,✨

Taking the stigma out of anger as an emotion is a life calling for me.

That’s because it can become such a heavy source of shame when we experience anger so big, so often that we feel like a volcano of rage.

Whether we express it openly or not, anger is a great teacher.

It’s pop psychology to say “anger is a secondary emotion.” This means there’s other emotions underlying the rage. But I find that it can be misleading to say that - a whitewashing of anger as if it’s not allowed to exist in its own right.

Can anger be mixed with other emotions? Of course! Everything is possible.

It can also just be there. When I experienced postpartum rage, I found myself silently depressed about it. As if I was living in someone else’s body.

I wasn’t actually mad about what was going on in the moment. Little things that made me angry, I logically didn’t care about.

It was hormonal and trauma-related. If I knew it was possible to rage out postpartum, I wouldn’t have felt so alone.

🫶Need help now? Find a perinatal specialist on the directory or call their helpline. 1-800-944-4773 (Bonus: they have support groups for dads!)

One of my favorite creators ever is the librarian. I think because the library was such a familiar place growing up as my family in those early years didn’t have money to do much else.
Even when my dad got his engineering job & we did fun things like go to Disneyland, I still loved curling up with a book in the corner of a quiet public library.
Fast forward to my parenting years and the library again has become a fixture. Miss Claudia and Miss Marnie being the angels they are serving the little people with as much heart as they can. So important to our family that they came to our neighborhood Halloween party.
All this talk about empathy and kindness and I struggle to be that way as a parent every day, while I watch these incredible grown ups look at each kid like the sacred beings they are. This is my thank you to the kind adults who gave my child love just because we went to the library every week for story time.
This is my thank you to adults who make the saying “it takes a village” a reality in my life. We were not meant to parent alone.
Here’s my heart extending kindness to all the parents around the globe grieving & striving & protecting their children’s right to a better future. May we link arms with parents we never expected to find common ground with. 💗