Sarah Jayne Explores

This picture is not what it seems.

5/24/2020 - This photo is taken at our gender reveal for our second baby. It’s another girl! We named her Lucia. 💜 🤍

6/8/2020 - At a routine visit, I heard the words no mother wants to hear - there’s no more heartbeat. 💔 This was my first (of many) pregnancy losses, and the start of a heartbreaking few years.

If I could go back in time, this is what I would tell myself:

🔹You did nothing wrong. This did not happen because of any fault of your own. Tell yourself that as often as you need to until you believe it.

🔹Some people you expect to show up for you during this time will not. Others will show up in unhelpful ways. Be honest about your needs & don’t be afraid to ask for help. There will also be unexpected people in your life who DO show up, and it opens a door for beautiful connections. Embrace those connections and don’t be afraid to let go of those that no longer benefit you.

🔹It doesn’t feel like it right now, but it WILL get easier. You will feel very sad for a while. Let yourself feel that grief without guilt or shame. I promise, the sadness will feel less with time.

🔹This journey will be scary, and things will feel out of your control. Advocate for yourself, and make sure to put your needs first as you navigate through this time.

🔹Honoring Lucia will be one of the best ways for you to remember and heal. 6 years from now, you will be standing by Lucia’s tree with your TWO girls (including your rainbow baby) and a beautiful baby boy, remembering Lucia together. You do this every year, and you talk to your kids regularly about her.

🔹Though it seems scary, don’t be afraid to share your experience with others. It’s one of the most vulnerable things you will do, but sharing this loss will help other women to feel seen and validated. This pain you are feeling will allow you to serve and love others in the future. I know that may not give any comfort right now, but it will later on.

🔹You are stronger and more loved than you realize. 🤍

What did I miss? ✈️ 🧳