Affirmative Therapy

I was obliged to keep from her what I thought of her condition... She was not dead yet. But I was already alone."— Proust

I’ve been reading a bit of Proust every day, and today, this hit me like a ton of bricks. Walking along with his grandmother, he realizes she’s dying, but she’s still here—he’s already feeling the weight of her absence in their empty chit-chat. That feeling when you know someone’s still with you, but you’re already mourning them? That hit home for me.

As I head into fall, Libra season, with an eclipse coming, something about this passage feels like a reflection of where I am—this weird in-between space, balancing what’s slipping away and what’s still in front of me.

Life’s asking me to manage with better grace the messy stuff—loss, change, the things I don’t want to admit are coming, including the terror of good things (keep in mind, I’m Jewish). I have a few books that are coming out, and I feel the need to write a reflection on “Sacred Lips of the Bronx” and also some past s**t with groups; my mother is fading, memory going, Payton is turning 25, and am I a therapist first or an author first — can I do both with an equal heart? And not just the big things, but the small, everyday moments I’ve taken for granted until I realize they’re about to disappear. Is it possible to meditate on a moment that has been all but forgotten, the way one would try to run after a fleeting dream?

With election chaos, GOP controversies that don’t stick, pagers going off, birthdays around the corner, and all the things I can’t control, it’s easy to forget to reflect and widen the aperture. I need to read Peter Beinart’s new book, not out yet, “Being Jewish After the Destruction of Gaza: A Reckoning.” But Proust always reminds me that I’m never in just once. I’m always holding the past, the present, and a glimpse of what’s next. Life is fragile, but in that fragility, there’s a strange beauty—like, this is the time to pay attention.

Anyway, these are just some thoughts from a guy who spends too much time each morning trying to read and write before life (and fear of the moment) take over as he gets ready for his weekly sojourn from his writing salon in Palm Springs to seeing patients in Los Angeles, Mondays and Tuesdays.

What do you all think? Have you been feeling the pull of fall too?

Mourning or Melancholia?

I was packing for my two-day trip to Los Angeles to see patients when I stumbled upon this mind-blowing YouTube interview—nothing short of revolutionary. The interview featured Dr. Bandy X Lee, MD, MDiv, the Psychiatrist expert on violence who compiled Kelly's "owner's manual" on Trump and may have prevented nuclear war—brilliant. Please check this YouTube out on your own!

I went through the transcript and tried simplifying the discussion, but it was hard not to list every QUOTE. This woman knows her s**t! The analysis clarified why no one has been able to expose Trump so effectively until now. With her prosecutor’s instincts, Kamala Harris practically deployed techniques bordering on psychoanalysis. Her ability to handle him was no accident—it’s rooted in her deep understanding of dangerous personalities, the kind I’ve seen firsthand in my professional work with the court system. The problem is that the level of psychopathy Trump exhibits has been grossly mishandled for years. No one knew how to set the necessary boundaries, and it's been left to the criminal justice system to impose limits when this should have been done long ago. Harris’s approach wasn't just thoughtful—it was informed by psychoanalytic training that she must have had either covertly or overtly to become a decent prosecutor.