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My Child Just Got an Autism Diagnosis. Could I Be Autistic Too?

Of course, the short answer is YES. Autism is genetic and many of us don’t even realize we are autistic until a child, parent, or sibling gets diagnosed. This is especially true if you are a woman or from a culture or faith group where under-diagnosis is common.

I didn’t realize I was autistic until a psychiatrist watched me talk myself through a breakdown at 18 and suggested it to me. I knew literally nothing about autism at the time and was quite defensive but agreed to read up on it. During the 90s, information on females with autism was limited, but I very quickly recognized my father in the descriptions. I accepted myself as autistic, knowing that it was genetic and that women are different.

It is also possible that, even if you are not autistic, you have a different type of Neurodivergence. I do not know all of the genetics behind it, but ADHD is somewhat related to autism, and these conditions frequently (though not always) overlap. If your child is autistic, you might have ADHD or a similar condition, rather than autism. Or you might be autistic and have ADHD.

If you have read up on Neurodiversity because of your child and none of the conditions speak to you, however, rest assured that being a Neurotypical parent of an autistic child is also common and healthy. Your child may have inherited their autistic traits from the other side of the family, or it might have skipped a generation.

Most families, who are honestly assessing their family trees, can usually pinpoint at least one aunt, uncle, cousin, grandparent, or even great uncle or aunt, who was likely on the spectrum if their child was diagnosed. This can actually be a good thing. Looking back at experiences one had with these relatives can be a great start in understanding your child.