UC Merced Confessions

If you see that long haired dude on campus with a green duffel bag that has nice hair, do not be afraid to ask him about his hair. He will kindly tell you his secrets of his long luscious hair and how he maintains it. Pretty chill guy too.

Sometimes I grade papers naked. There is no sexual reason for this, but there is no reason for clothes either.

To those three girls outside Tuolumne who threw whatever the f**k it was at a window on the second floor and probably broke it based on the sound of cracking that I heard, have some respect for your damn campus. I get you wanna have fun and think it's cute to throw rocks at your friends' windows but let's not break campus property. You are the reason we cannot have nice things. This is not high school. Grow the f**k up.

I want to go to parties but I don't have friends who know where they are at, how do I find out where they are?