Lifecycles with Rabbi Miller

Should we throw candy at the end of a B'Mitzvah? In my humble opinion, NO!!!!!!! Now let me tell you why. There is no such thing as "soft" candy. Any candy being thrown overhand, by kids, in the back of the room becomes like a ball being pitched by a major league ball player. The B'Mitzvah could get hit in the eye (yes, there was once a scratched cornea and kid went to the emergency room and missed their party) or could get whacked in the head (yes, there was once a kid who had a red egg shaped lump on his forehead in every picture from being hit with "soft" candy) or your guests and clergy could get hit and hurt too. There are ways to work around this. One way is to have the first two rows of guest ONLY throw the candy and instruct them to throw it gently and underhand. Another is to have the candy in a bucket and have the siblings or a friend or two come forward and pour it over the B'Mitzvah. Or I had one family that threw bright color ribbon. There are so many ways we now shower our B'mitzvah kids with sweetness. Throwing candy, no longer needs to be one of them and no one wants to eat those Sunkist fruit gems.

Is it worth the splurge? When planning your Bar or Bat Mitzvah there are so many things to consider. Is it worth it to splurge for decorations or the swag? Is it worth it to splurge on the food or the cake? After 25 years of and hundreds of mitzvahs, there is one thing that I would splurge on and that is the photographer. A good photographer will capture the emotion of the day, the look of pride in the parents eyes, the nerves and excitement of the mitzvah child, the fun exchange between siblings. A mitzvah is a milestone moment that families will look back on for years. I often hear about parents who show their children pictures of their special day. Your guest won't remember the decorations or the cake but with a professional photographer you and your family will be able to remember what an amazing day your family celebrated! (Thank you to Joy Yagid for her amazing pictures below.)

On this Kol Neidrei eve, may you be inscribed for blessing in the Book of Life and may your fast be a meaningful one.