Julily

🔟 .NYC IDOL NIGHT RECAP & SURVEY
📝 https://forms.gle/3Z6TnDuDij4qY6oAA

For those who attended or watched our TEN TEN IDOL NIGHT, please take a moment to fill out our survey so we can improve next time!

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It's been almost a year since I made a formal post on Instagram, but here "Eye" am! I've been so preoccupied with recovering from chronic pain and moving around, so I haven't had the chance to settle fully. Despite that, if you haven't got a chance to see it, I've been working alongside our incredible team to create a Kaigai Idol Taiban here in NYC! This is also my first time hosting and organizing a Kaigai Idol Taiban, too. I'm very honored to partner up with Karen Iwata for this project, and we've been learning a lot from each other along the way!

While I am not an "idol" anymore, we are hoping that with our roots in J-Pop Idol culture, a brand-new kind of idol performer can be established. In my vision, I want to support individuals and groups alike who promote well-being, humanitarianism, and genuine care for others. Maybe in the future, we won't really need to use the "idol" label either and call it something entirely different? We'll see.

Looking back, last weekend left me with a lot of mixed emotions. It was hard for me to react properly since my mind was racing. There was so much to process all at once, and everything felt so surreal. Regardless, I'm incredibly proud of all the performers who pulled through and poured their hearts out on stage. I couldn't pick a favorite act, everyone was so good in their way! Even though my confidence wavered and I fought my doubts, the idols and staff alike were very reassuring, and I couldn't be more grateful. The fact that we were able to collaborate in such a capacity gives me motivation to work even harder for you all.

The future is uncertain, but I am excited for what is coming next. I haven't been able to feel that kind of anticipation for years, given that I've been struggling with intense apathy and depression. At this point, I can truly say that I am content and feel safe. Thank you everyone, and cheers! 🥂

📸 Photography Credit:

🔗URL: https://www.instagram.com/p/C-f7y5tP4iO/

I've been recovering for a few days after my last performance as an "idol" for Geek Out At Staten Island. If you missed the show, you can see our livestream above and if I ever get the chance, I would like to upload footage onto YouTube but we'll have to see if I'm able to get around editing it. Just like last year, I'll be sharing pictures that our friend Brian Camp took for us along with some of his commentary below!

"On Saturday, I went to Snug Harbor in Staten Island to attend the annual GOASI (Geek Out at Staten Island) and see a delightful half-hour set by two friends of mine, Juliane Infantino and Anna Halverson, performing as Julily Infinite and Anna Banana. Anna flew in from Germany with her husband for the event. They did seven songs, six of them J-pop. Anna even wrote two of them, “Seishun Sengen” and “Chulip”—in Japanese!—and performed them solo. They covered one of the earliest Hello! Project songs I ever heard, “First Kiss,” and a recent single, “Ding Dong,” from former Morning Musume member Masaki Sato. The one English song was the touching “Teddy Bear Heart,” a solo by Juliane. Thanks to my J-pop circles, I've made so many wildly talented friends.

I last saw Juliane perform at last year’s GOASI and I last saw Anna when we did Kararoke back in November 2018 following Anime NYC where we saw Morning Musume perform."

🚇 (8/10 @ 1PM EST) LIVE AT Geek Out At Staten Island 🚉
🔗 URL: https://beacons.ai/julilyinfinite

All aboard the Apple & Banana Express! If you don't want to miss our train, please set a reminder for 1:00 PM EST this Saturday and catch us on our performance livestream on my Instagram profile. For those who would like to watch (on IG) and I in person, I included a link up top of this post for FREE GOASI Con tickets and MTA Instructions on how to get there.

You can also check in with Dean P. H. Aquino for MTA Updates and see him at his panel "Con Survival: How to Navigate A Healthy Con Experience". His panel will start at 12:30 PM in Building P before our performance on the South Meadow Stage.

Eye can't wait to see you. ♾️

A lot of people try to convince themselves that with enough grit and power, one can overcome certain challenges. Although this statement may have some legitimacy, I still get frustrated with my physical limitations. I've been wondering about how much a human can withstand and while it's possible to endure many things, it doesn't rid the fact that someone is not struggling.

For years now, I can't seem to get my body moving the way it used to and my nervous system is frequently shot up. This isn't to say that I haven't experienced this before and that I can't adapt to it (because I can) however, I'm dealing with a new level of this type of pain. Even during previous live performances, I have heavily masked my fear of blanking out and feeling faint with the mindset of, "I don't have time to worry about this right now, I'll push through and deal with it later." So I learned that even if I prepare to the utmost of my ability, I could still get it wrong either way.

I always thought it was normal that my body felt sore upon waking up every morning or that I ache most days leaving me with little energy to work with. Obviously, this isn't normal and I'm left bedridden for the most part. Usual tasks like feeding myself, bathing myself, finishing chores, etc. take an extraordinary amount of effort. Though this isn't to say that I can't complete it, however, it takes longer than what's deemed necessary. This has become my new "norm" and I don't want to be this brittle.

A recent YouTube video from Nu Mindframe's channel titled "Narcissists Are Demons Sent To Destroy And Distract You (Especially Covert Narcissists)" actually explains a similar situation I'm relating to pretty well so I resonate with her message. Even if you don't believe in spirituality that much (I used to be like this), I still think it's worth listening to because she goes in-depth on how this type of abuse debilitates someone and stifles their sense of self-expression.

Here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPUii5LkF8M

That being mentioned, there are way too many unnecessary obstacles that have been blocking me from functioning normally; thus delaying my progress and suppressing my truth. I want to be free of this.

(Part 1/2) To be continued…

Whoops, I almost forgot to post the last of these pics at the Target Winter Wonderland! With the passport I am holding in the photo, the goal was to collect stamps at every attraction/destination within the event. I collected all of them!

My review of it: Although I did enjoy the small freebies and the photo ops, I dislike the fact that we had to wait about two hours to get in. It’s to be expected of course, though consideridering what was offered, there were some things left undesired.

Another annoyance was the loop of mainstream music playing in the background which some songs aren’t appropriate for children (for instance: Bad Habits by Ed Sheeran or Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5 🤮). Stuff like that has always been a gripe with me so given the fact it was a kid friendly event, it would’ve made sense to play music that fits it — just how if you go to a Chuck E Cheese, they have their own original songs playing or even some Kidz Bop going on.

On the plus side, I did get some Bullseye Shaped cookies and my friend won me an adorable Bullseye plush in the claw machine! My favorite part was also hugging the Bullseye Walkaround Mascot before we left since I was looking forward to that the most. We were also very hungry so we ended the day eating Go Go Curry. I’ll post more photos of my Bullseye Plushies & Target Toys on my .bubbles profile later on if you are interested!

I’ll just have to remember that if they have an event like this for next year, I’ll go early to avoid crowded lines and long waiting times. I wouldn’t want to stay for too long.