CompassionateInk

After a long hiatus (May of 2020) during which the old Compassionate Ink FB page inexplicably disappeared, I've just now fumbled my way into creating a new page all by myself!

I'm going to try to post the pieces of this year's Solstice/New Year's mailing. First the words (from the Grandmothers) for the card:

Walking, daily, through unfamiliar,
uncomfortable, ever-shifting terrain:
in the midst of frightening, deeply troubling,
uncertain times – no way of knowing how
or when things might ever settle down again.

Our spirits and beings exhausted.
Time slips by, evaporating before our eyes.
Sustaining focus now an ongoing challenge.
Often, simple tasks of daily life overwhelm us.
Awash in our helplessness to affect
the course of what’s unfolding,
we feel despairing, bereft.

All there is for it: keep making safe space
to be with all of our upset feelings,
tenderly embracing and expecting
less from our disoriented selves.
Seeking, noticing and gathering any little
moments of joy, hope and simple pleasure.
Sharing what support we can, acknowledging
those around us who are also struggling.
Trusting that, somehow and together,
we can make it through, however long it may take.

December 2020
Robyn L. Posin

And, then, my letter:

Solstice 2020/New Year’s 2021
Like everyone I know, I wander through these disorienting days feeling exhausted and having no idea where the time goes: days/weeks/months end even though it feels like they’ve just begun. Fridays (my laundry/cat box/hot tub chemicals/water houseplants chore-day) seem to arrive every other day, as the week evaporates.

I move in and out of fasting from reading even just the headlines visible on AOL as I retrieve my few emails each day. Every time I slip and read them, I feel ready to scream, weep, tear my hair out in rage and anguish over daily, endlessly insane political machinations, bizarre/divisive conspiracy theories, astronomically escalating Covid statistics and the heartbreaking stories of families devastated by both financial and medical crises. It all becomes more than I can bear knowing about! Especially since I feel powerless to do anything about any of it, helpless in the face of such all-encompassing devastation.

Despite the arrival of vaccines, the mutating of the virus and the still-pervasive resistance to wearing masks/social distancing lead me to suspect that we may well be in much the same horrible straits next year at this time. I feel resigned, yet oddly peaceful as I embrace what feels to me to be reality. I’d be delighted to be proven wrong!

I find quiet calm in my near-in world. I garden, growing much of what I eat; feed the hummingbirds, gold finch and various seed-feeding birds that flock joyously to the feeders hanging around my cottage; feed, groom, cuddle and clean up after my two affectionate, aging kitties. I work with a few regular clients either socially-distanced in my garden or by plain old-fashioned phone (I refuse to do Zoom/Facetime or Skype). I wander around my lovely, tree-lined neighborhood after dark when no one’s around, take occasional walks/hikes with friends, do some Pilates stretches/yoga/free weights here and there throughout the week, frequently nap sometime between 3 and 6 PM before, then, meandering through the rest of the evenings-into-wee-hours reading, listening to books on CD or visiting friends by phone. Doing nothing of any redeeming social (or creative) value: I just don’t have the energy or motivation. As Alice Walker suggests, I “expect nothing, live frugally on surprise” in these weird times. Life under Covid is not that different from my slow-lane/hermitty, ordinary life. But, I sooo miss hugs!

As this strange year ends, I complete my 80th year on the planet and begin my 81st. While my heart aches for the profound suffering of so many people as the world around us seems to be falling apart, I feel incredibly blessed to be in good shape physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. I’m filled with gratitude for the circle of close friends that are my family and for the continuing contact with so many of the incredible women I’ve worked with over the years. Having such abiding, intimate connections with kindred souls nourishes me deeply.

May you stay safe, healthy and grounded as the light returns, hopefully in every dimension! Much love and warmest blessings,

I'm hoping to begin posting again and hoping my former followers discover this new version of the old FB page! Stay safe!!!