VAPORHEEL

❗️DISCLAIMER: this is totally NOT a rehash/quick rework of a half-baked piece I had uploaded here a while back, so do NOT scroll back on my page and look for the original version of this image. I actually don’t ever reuse the same images in my designs, and I have never dropped my car keys ever before in my life. I’ve never started singing before everyone else in church or accidentally dropped a plate of macaroni and cheese face down on the s**g rug. these are not things that i do. I am without fault.

“EXILED”
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hey all. back with another piece I threw together the other day. the last one was red, but if you’ll notice and look closely, this one is actually blue. It took me a lot of time to come to that decision too. at first, i thought “no, not blue. It shouldn’t be blue. never blue”, but then after seeing it in blue, i was like “no, yeah, blues actually good. always blue”. that’s just one example of how my needless overthinking really throws a wrench in productivity sometimes. i’m trying to be more decisive in life though, so lately, whenever im faced with a decision, I’ll run a quick rock-papers-scissors in my head. it’s been difficult, since most choices are posed as a binary decision, so people get a little confused when I ask them to please add a third option to the mix and then actively pound my fist against my palm while mouthing “rock. paper. scissors. shoot”. you do what you gotta do though.

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Just a little quickshop ⏳

Hope all is well with my friends and enemies. Im very busy floundering around in my day-to-day life, but i got a cat recently so that’s been cool. He is very small right now, but im being told he will only increase in size/mass. As you know, food stuff costs a lot of money, so im going to start shoplifting to provide for my son. If you have any suggestions or ideas about your favorite ways to shoplift, let me know below, as I didn’t have much luck this first time around. I tried to shimmy a 35lb bag of dry food down the front of my pants at ACME, which tore and ended up leaking out both my pant legs as I walked around the store. When security asked me to come with them, I panicked and started picking up handfuls of the dry food off the floor, eating it and saying that I had brought it from home as a snack. They took me into the back for questioning, but I kept eating the dry food (really wanted to sell the whole “brought it from home” angle) and it made me really really sick. They asked me to please stop eating the cat food, and that it wasn’t really that big a deal, but at that point all the cat food had kinda made me delirious and I wasn’t really coherent anymore. Police arrived and deemed that I was a threat to both myself and others, and took me to the holding cell for an overnight stay. Apparently, in addition to making you really really sick, eating cat food makes you super strong (and violent), as the entire police department was unable to separate me from the remaining dry food. All this to say, if you HAVE to boost cat food from ACME, go for the tear-proof 15lb bags.

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