Cultivate Your Inner Goddess Podcast

I just posted a pain free living, informative podcast interview with Hope Mell, Alexander Technique Teacher and Movement Therapist. https://www.coachingbygrace.com/cyig-podcast/2021/8/24/hope-mell-interview For anyone interested, she is running a complimentary Joint Freeing 90 minute yoga session on Tuesday, September 14, 2021 6pm EST. To sign up, please visit her website at: https://www.alexandertechnique-yoga.com or email her directly at [email protected]. Thanks.

Hope Mell | Alexander Technique & Yoga Hope Mell Alexander Technique & Yoga Alexander has found a method for detecting precisely the correlations between physical and mental…and for creating a new sensory consciousness. John Dewey Healing is making whole – restoring a state of balance. Stress is a primary or aggravating cause of most...

Article: “The Real Problem isn’t the Problem. The Real Problem is Your Old Solution to the Problem.”
From the Cultivate Your Inner Goddess Newsletter November Archives

“The Real Problem isn’t the Problem. The Real Problem is Your Old Solution to the Problem.”

Above is a quote from Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work

By Matthew McKay, and Patrick Fanning.

This quote rings true in so many ways. It is universally applicable. Have you ever been in a situation where you felt stuck, and had no options? Solutions to problems exist, however, not all alternatives may feel suitable to you.

Allow me to share a real world example.

Problem: You and your best friend of a decade had a disagreement over the confidentiality of information that was shared in private, and now, others in your close circle of friends know.

The Real Problem: You feel frustrated, humiliated, and angry towards your best friend for betraying your confidence.

Your Old Solution to the Problem: You yelled at your best friend. You blocked her from your phone. You “unfriended” her from your social media account. You warned your circle of friends that your best friend is a backstabber. You promise yourself you are not going to share confidential information with future best friends going forward.

Possible New Solutions to the Problem: You decide to have an adult face to face conversation with your best friend as to the purpose of sharing your confidential information with others. You decide to have a conversation with your best friend about how this violation of trust hurt your feelings and what steps can be taken to repair your trust.

Instead of following your initial instinct of reacting and being angry at your friend, consider pausing and reflecting on the situation. Take the time to respond to your feelings. Although you feel hurt now, remember that your friend has been by your side for a decade. After all, she’s your BEST FRIEND! Would she do something intentionally to betray you? Is it possible for you to give her the benefit of doubt because she’s been by your side through the highs and lows of your friendship?… birthday parties, holidays, heartbreaks, and work drama? Would she intentionally hurt you? Was it a misunderstanding? Was it miscommunication? Was it clear the information she shared was understood to be confidential? Did she share it by accident? If you asked your best friend, she would be able to answer these questions for you. At times, you might become stuck in your old solutions to your problems without thinking outside your perspective. If you pause and take a look at your problem from a different perspective, you may find a solution to your problem that you did not notice before.

Article: Why Are Humans Resistant to Change?
From the Cultivate Your Inner Goddess Newsletter September Archives

Summer is coming to an end and Fall is near. Winds signal the change in seasons. Days become shorter and temperatures colder. Your Fall clothes, light jackets, and boots will come out of the closet. Autumn leaves will turn yellow and then brown and will eventually fall to the ground. Humans recognize this cycle as a change in season. We view nature’s changes as natural, however human change is perceived differently.

Why are humans resistant to change? The process of change is difficult to maintain because the human brain is neurologically wired to follow patterns. Habits allow your brain to easily repeat actions. During the process of evolution, humans needed to conserve energy when food was scarce. We adapted to challenges in the environment and our brains used fear to warn against impending danger. If your tribe met an alligator at the lake, your brain would be “programmed” to remember that danger lurks at the lake. This mechanism helped you to survive.

What happens when our habits are unhealthy, or even detrimental to our well being, such as an addiction? Building a new habit to override the existing neural pathways takes conscious effort and practice. In the case of addiction, it may also involve withdrawal symptoms. It takes a minimum of 30 days of continuous repetition to build a new habit. Only after that, will you start performing tasks automatically.

Factors for successful change include:

1. Is your desire to change self initiated?
2. Are you willing to feel uncomfortable, while the change takes place?
3. Are you committed to the process?
4. Will you hold yourself accountable?
5. What is the purpose of your desired change?

Even if you have willpower and are successfully able to change and build a new habit for yourself, others surrounding you may not like the changes they see. If you lose 20 pounds, your neighbor may become jealous, and subconsciously try to ruin your diet, by bringing over cake and pie.

During my process of personal growth and development, I lost a friendship of over 20 years, of someone who did not approve of the ways I had changed. This friend told me she felt concerned I had been brainwashed and indoctrinated into a “personal development cult”. She eliminated me as a friend and refuses to speak to me, because she “doesn’t know who I am anymore”. Her reaction to my change was to reject me.

In my opinion, personal improvement, empowerment, and freedom to be authentic are the best things that have happened to me. I do not want to return to the version of myself with low self esteem, desire for peer approval, and lack of confidence.

If you dare to change, OWN the process. If you wish to change your body, your attitude, your career, your relationship, just do it. You have the ability to change anything you want about yourself. Change is not simple, nor is it easy. It could be achieved with practice and perseverance. Nobody can transform you except you. A better version of yourself awaits. Embrace the process of change.

Article: How Do You Persist in Times of Uncertainty?
From the Cultivate Your Inner Goddess Newsletter Archives

It’s been about 4 months since life has been upended and states enacted stay at home orders. By now, you’ve probably grown accustomed to being at home. Your contact with friends and family might have been limited. Some restaurants may be open for dine-in, or takeout. Life also changed in that now you are required to wear face masks in public. Schools are uncertain if they will reopen this fall. How will you survive another few months with your kids home 24/7, if schools do not reopen? How do you persist in times of uncertainty?

As humans evolve, they build immunity and coexist with diseases. Some prominent examples include the virus that caused the Spanish Flu pandemic of 1918, the bacteria transmitted by fleas that caused the Bubonic plague, and another virus that caused Smallpox, a disease that causes painful blisters, and permanent physical scars.

What does this mean? It means that human beings are an extremely resilient and adaptive species. We are engineered for survival. Humans have bountiful strength and are stronger than we think we are. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be here. Our ancestors survived natures’ elements, societal wars, hunting and gathering, and finding fresh water to drink. They were brave! You are also brave because they passed their genes down to you.

Humans are hope-filled creatures. Humans are smart, adaptive, know how to utilize tools, develop medicines, and treat diseases. Are you able to look past the illusion of doom and see HOPE? Do you see the light at the end of the tunnel, as this too shall pass?

Difficult times can bring out the best in humans. It provides an opportunity for innovation, cooperation, and a path to creative solutions. It can force people to think outside the box, when otherwise they might have given up. Failure is not an option.

Imagine yourself 5 years from now, when COVID is a memory. What lessons will you have learned? Will you be more grateful for the freedoms you have every day? Will you feel you capitalized on your potential opportunities? Did you spend all your time wishing the pandemic was over, that you forget to stop and appreciate the silence? Maybe you missed an opportunity to tell a friend or family member that you appreciate and love them. Did you focus on what you could do, not what you couldn’t do? Reflect upon things you have the power to change now.

Article: What Can I Be Grateful For?
From the Cultivate Your Inner Goddess Newsletter Archives

Greetings! It’s officially summer. Summer in prior years has meant vacation with family, BBQ with friends, or relaxing at a beach or pool. Summer this year has been different. For most people, this is their first experience living in a pandemic. This summer, you might be social distancing, wearing a facemask in public, or limiting contact with your friends.

During challenging times- economic hardships, events that may test your spiritual faith, public health crises, and protests against social injustice, how do you choose to respond? Do you view these external events as personal attacks, or are these possibly an opportunity for growth? Might this be a calling to look within? Your perception becomes your reality.

Those who successfully cope with this new reality will be those who manage to adapt, accept, and accommodate. Are you willing to adapt, and modify your behavior to better suit this new environment? Are you able to accept, and stop resisting change? In life, change is constant. Your former sense of “normal”, may not return. Can you accommodate this new experience by investing your time and energy wisely? Wanting things to go back to the way they used to be, is an exercise in futility.

One way to feel empowered is to focus on what you can control, and that is your response to a situation. You have the option to select your filter. Will you choose to focus on what you appreciate and are grateful for? I challenge you to write down in a notebook, or on your phone notepad three things you are grateful for today. To build this habit, continue this exercise for 2 weeks.

For example, today, I feel grateful for:
1. Being employed during a pandemic
2. The good health of my family and friends
3. Having a safe place to live and enough food to eat

You are empowered to make the decision to be appreciative of what you have today, rather than focus on what you lost. You own that choice.