Carrie Saum - Storyteller

One of my early food blogging icons, Elana Amsterdam, (of Elana's Pantry) passed away unexpectedly on February 8th.

While there has been no official cause of death disclosed, her final blog post—also written on February 8–gives us insight into the internal hell she lived in for years.

And among other things, it also gave us insight into her silent struggles with autoimmune disease disorders.

Elana’s gluten free chocolate chip cookie recipe was the first chocolate chip cookie my FPIES toddler ever ate.

Elana’s recipes inspired my own recipe development venture and launched me into a world that gave me a trusted online community when I would have otherwise been isolated.

That little blog community morphed into career professional writing for a season when I needed to express myself most.

And most recently, Elana helped me find a way to feed myself as I continue to heal from severe, chronic Lymes disease.

Elana’s light was bright but her pain was silent and acute. It’s sometimes impossible to hold a lantern aloft when pain is playing a silent symphony in concert with every rise and fall of one’s chest.

And so tonight, I hold the light for Elana, who’s suffering eclipsed her vibrant flame.

Tomorrow, I will raise that bright light for myself, for you, and for our community—

For the hope we hold in defiance of our fear of the unknown.

For the easing of suffering of what is.

For resisting the destruction of our homelands.

For the healing that is on the other side of our pain.

And most importantly—for the joy that remains with us always.

Love,
— C

Hard relate.