Spellbound Flowers

It’s Spellbound Season!

Happy Halloween from NYC. ✨🖤✨

Darling friends,
I had plans to do a live about orchids tonight -
But a terrible earache/sinus infection has decided to interrupt my plans.
I can’t even fake my way through it.
If I feel better tomorrow - I’ll give it a spin, but I have a different kind of spin to manage tonight … bluh.

Oops, that last post was supposed to be on my personal account. Thank you to those who read it. Short of the long, it’s been rough this week.
but the fairytale houses, and this rose made a long dumb trip to Queens interesting yesterday.

Having a rough go of it this week- feeling very unskilled at life.
The new job is very hard, very hard and making me feel like I have zero talent as a florist.
The woman I work next to is kind and pushes me in a way that works, the manager screams.
I’m too slow, too nice to customers, you name - I am it, and I get yelled at for it.
Unfortunately I have a neurodivergent response to yelling and I start laughing ( because I am a: scared b: uncomfortable c: men screaming is funny)
I mean, I get it- it’s how the owner talks to
Him- so that’s how he chooses to lead but man, it does not generate respect or make a person feel@anything but fearful.

I need the money so I am busting myself up to make it work, I have to- but I don’t know friends…..
Perhaps it’s time for a little introspection Portland good may not mean New York good.and the love and care I feel for flowers and connecting with customers over flowers has not meant a good goddamn to anyone I have worked for here.
I’m tired, I’m sad and while I don’t feel hopeless, I do have less hope.
I’ll find it…I always do but at this moment I feel so away from any kind of purpose- and I guess that is what I miss.
I *hated* my company some days - but for nearly a decade found purpose in my work. It’s hard to live without it.