Court Ordered Programs

Too often we become extremely angry before we recognize that we are angry. Early awareness is the key. What are the elements of such early awareness?
1. Recognize the underlying feelings of tension, sadness, fear, frustration, hurt, rejection, ect.
2. Take time out to reflect. Be "slow to anger."
3. Many find it helpful to pray about the problem, seeking spiritual help and guidance.
4. Identify the issue. Decide whether you are distorting the truth about the event or person.
a. What are you angry about?
b. What did the other person do that hurt or frustrated you? Think about the behavior that bothered you. Don't make judgments about others' motives.
5. Evaluate whether the issue is valid. Ask, "do I have the right to be angry?" Sometimes we do but sometimes we don't.
6. Address the issue / problem, and express your feelings: "I was frustrated / hurt / angry when you forgot about our appointment."
a. Establish a plan of action: "I would like to request that you call me the next time you are going to be late."
b. Have options for change: "Please take a time-out when you begin to get angry. Please treat me with respect."
c. Negotiate a resolution: "What do you want to do about disciplining the children?"
d. Plan a time-frame: "I would like to see changes made over the next month."
e. Express how you will help the situation: "I will call a time-out if I think the conflict is getting too hot." "I will make my requests respectfully rather than nagging you in the future." Learn to handle your anger with assertiveness (see the course on "Anger and Assertiveness").
7. Get guidance from a pastor, counselor, or trustworthy confidante.
8. Put the issue in perspective. Ask yourself: "Is this issue really worth getting upset over and worth bringing up? Or can I let go of it in the light of the fact that I may have misunderstood the person? Or maybe the issue / situation is just not that important and I can overlook it."
9. Forgive and forget. Forgiveness brings resolution and is a step toward reconciliation.

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From our " Initial Awareness of Hurt or Anger" Class in our Anger Management, Domestic Violence, Batterers Intervention and Parenting Programs at http://www.courtorderedclasses.com

Domestic Violence / BIP / Anger Management / Parenting/ Drug and Alcohol Programs Live Classrooms. Designed for individuals who need to take court ordered courses for court ordered requirements, personal reasons or at request of their employer.

Court and Probation Accepted Since 2007. State Certificates along with Probation/Parole Officer/Judge Login can be found athttp://www.cop-i.com