Gretchen Shanks Coaching

I feel really scattered right now.
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Around six months ago I started a deep dive into some personal growth work as one means to reinvest and recommit to my coaching work – yes, that growth work is about far more than my business, but at this stage it’s also central to reestablishing my coaching practice.
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Part of what this has done for me has given me the space and the emotional resiliency to be more intentional about my time spent on my coaching work even as I, by necessity, must split my time between my coaching business, the woodworking biz I co-own with my nesting partner, the side gig that’s helping us make ends meet, frequently managing and balancing our finances to make sure all the bills get paid (it takes A LOT more time to manage $ when you don’t have any – super fcking ironic), and managing finances and related things for my dad’s care before he passed. And doing all of this while riding the emotional waves of being in financial survival mode.
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And it was working. I could feel internal shifts happening. I felt grounded in the steps I was taking for my coaching work, even as I did some things that were edgy for me.
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One of the ways I knew it was working for me is that my creativity opened back up – rather than my mental energy being used up spinning out over not doing the most basic of things (and beating myself up for it), I started getting s**t done. And with each step I took, I began to see other paths of possibility, other things I can do (both can do and am excited to do) to market my business.
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Then September and October hit, and all the plates I’ve been precariously balancing started spinning a bit out of control, and I found myself once again far more in response/put the next fire out mode and far less intentional in how I spent my time.
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On Sunday I got back from attending my dad’s funeral in KY. I gave myself Monday for rest and some physical recovery. Tuesday I dove back into coaching work – and am so fcking proud of myself for how I moved through some initial overwhelm and went on to get some really good stuff done. Then the last couple of days have been largely consumed by work woodshop work.
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In fact, we just took a big step for our woodshop business – we did an in-person interview today at Pike Place Market to be one of their craft vendors. This would be huge for us, and we’re SO excited for the possibilities.
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And now that the interview is behind us, I can shift back to a focus on coaching, which is what I’m trying to do now. But after almost two months of going from one thing to the next as each individual need has popped up – all while still showing up for my coaching business (and not dropping it – HUGE win for me!), my brain and my nervous system is feeling a bit unsettled.
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But after writing it all out like that, I have a lot more compassion for myself – of course I’m feeling unsettled and scattered after the last two months I’ve had.
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I think what this is signaling to me is that I’m nearing a capacity limit in this moment, and I need to find some ways to slow down and recharge.
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And one of those ways – one that will help refuel me for the longer term – will be making time for a daily practice that nourishes me. When I’m not finding consistent ways to show up for myself in the ways that fuel me, that’s when I struggle the most with my capacity limits.
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Another reason I’m so excited for the upcoming challenge I’ve set for myself – taking the first 21 days of November to prioritize making time each day for self-pleasure. ​ I used to do it on the daily and it nourished me in so many different ways. I’ve long been out of the habit and I can feel how I’m not as grounded, not as connected to my turn on, not as connected to my creativity and aliveness as I used to be. And I so want to get back to that. Hence the challenge I’ve created.
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And I’d love to do this challenge with others – what’s something you used to do just for yourself that lit you up, grounded you, helped you feel connected to yourself and what matters most to you? Do you want to get back to that? If so, I’d love for you to join me in this challenge.
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I’ve named it the Reclaim & Reconnect challenge. You can learn all about it at the 🔗 below.

I used to think I had an issue with commitment. 
 
For so many years I had a vague unease at the notion of a committed relationship. I both wanted it – the intimacy, the security, and the regular secks…but I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of forever.  
 
I was highly skeptical that I could stay attached to just one person…indefinitely. 
 
But that’s what it means to be committed to someone, right? It’s just you and that person. Sure, you have friends, but all the important stuff is saved for your “better half”. They’re your best friend, your confidante, your lover, your partner. 
 
Even just writing that, I can feel my stomach clench and my breath get a little shallow.  
 
It was this unease I felt years ago whenever I fantasized about finally experiencing a long-term relationship. For the longest time I thought that meant I had a problem with commitment, that there was an inherent flaw in my personality. That I was destined to always be alone because of it, or that I would have to force myself to get over it. 
 
This is So. Not. True. It’s one of the biggest relationship myths we have. And if it doesn’t happen to align with your own internal wiring and authentic self-expression, then it can cause a lot of pain and discomfort. 
 
It wasn’t until I worked with an intimacy coach and got introduced to the idea that there are so many other ways of relating, that I finally let go of the fear that I was somehow not cut out for a relationship. And, I found the style of relating that does work for me – polyamory – while being supported in figuring out how to navigate it in integrity. 
 
I now work with clients struggling with similar questions. Through our work they connect to what’s true for them. They learn how to disentangle the voice inside their head that says the myth MUST be true, from their inner knowing about what their heart really wants.  
 
Have you been trying to figure out what your heart really wants? Or maybe you know and are having trouble navigating it. If so, grab one of my Tune In & Turn On Intensives to get 2 weeks of support from me to work through whatever is holding you back. 
 
Details at the link in bio.

Flirting isn't a social contract. ⠀
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I'm allowed to flirt because it's fun. ⠀
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I'm allowed to flirt because I'm practicing. ⠀
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I'm allowed to flirt because I think I moght be interested - and I get to change my mind. ⠀
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I flirt because I want to - it's not a social contract. ⠀
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⁣If this feels like you when trying to flirt, then you wanna get in my How To Get Your Flirt On workshop. ⠀
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I'm going live over on FB at 3pm PT today to share with you how I FINALLY got good at flirting after decades of feeling like a failure at it. ⠀
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Not on FB or got something else to do at that time? Register for the event at the link in my bio and you'll get an email tomorrow with a link to the YouTube replay. ⠀
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