Penelope Noelle

Happy 2nd birthday my angel in heaven 💜 I miss you so much 😢 this is still so unreal these have been the most painful 8 months and I still have a lifetime without you:/ Please know mommy loved you much and still do and I tried to fight for you till the last moment I could

5 months ago....I went to the hospital and saw my baby on life support... She had only been admitted 3 days before going on life support and each day she got worse. I saw her eat less, I saw her smile less, I saw her energy leaving, she couldn’t hold herself up anymore. She just wanted me to hold her and I tried ever moment I could. This picture was taken the last time I ever saw my baby awake and last time I held alive. You could just see in her face she was done...it hurts my heart as a mother to see this picture now and know my baby tired of fighting for her life...but I know she tried so hard. After this picture I put her back in her crib and I had to walk away... because I had to go see Journi who was also in the icu and breastfeed (she was only 2 weeks old) her and than I left for the night to get some sleep and see Charlie. As I walked away she screamed and cried and I could hear it echo the entire unit. It hurt so bad not knowing the next day early morning she’d be on life support. I miss you so much baby girl.. my last moments awake with you weren’t fair at all.. I love you so much it’s okay that you didn’t wanna fight anymore I understand. You won to me❣️ you got to go to the place we all some day pray and hope to be. I love you angel 👼