Gentle Coaching

Will there be a Boot Scoot Boogie in heaven?

Recently one of my children got married. There were many parts of the wedding that were special moments for me but one that surprised me was how my heart felt when the “Boot Scoot Boogie” started playing and all of my children and their partners and so many others in the room got up and danced together. I love to dance myself but I’m out of practice because of 32 years of marriage with a wife who didn’t like to dance so I don’t know this dance since it was popular in my Daddy years. What I saw was a whole generation of people who had this as curriculum in their school setting in Utah. This included my youngest brother and all of my children. Sadly no form of dance was taught or required when I went to public school. So I stood there and watched mesmerized by the ability that so many had to remember the steps that they had been taught in High School.

Why did this soften my heart and why did I want to be out there with them? I guess it resonated with me on many levels. First the ability to do something together no matter our experience in life. To share something. To be joined in a common cause moving in motion together. We don’t have very many chances for that in our current world. We fight and bicker over politics, religion, Covid, sexuality, money, position, privilege and race. We decide we can’t even associate with people who don’t believe the way we do. Yes we do it in the name of boundaries or protecting ourselves from hurt or staying safe from evil influences but we all make choices as to who we will hang out with and who we will not. I think we often do ourselves a disservice by not engaging with others who think different from us and respectfully hear their perspective without argument or agreement necessarily.

My daughter whose wedding this was use to get mad at me as we were riding through town if I was playing country music on my car stereo. For some reason she had decided that particular genre of music was completely unacceptable and she let me know it every time I happened to play it with her in the car. I was actually really surprised when she said yes to my request of playing the popular country music song “I hope you dance” as our daddy daughter ballad for the reception. I was equally surprised when “Boot Scoot Boogie” started playing and she and her new husband got up with all the rest of them and line danced in her beautiful floor length wedding gown. I should have had some idea that she was changing as when my new son-in-law asked her to marry him they went horseback riding and wore cowboy hats for the event. Maybe his influence has softened her on her dislike of country music. People we are romantic with seem to have this kind of influence on us. They seem to open our eyes to things that, may be in the past, we just didn’t see. I’m glad that she no longer holds this blanket prejudice that she held against this genre because of some bad experiences she apparently had. It’s funny how loving someone so deeply allows us to open our minds. We should do this more often with people around us wether we are in a romantic relationship with them or they are just friends or acquaintances. More open dialogue and more respect for those who don’t believe the same as us will only do us good.

The next thing that touched me about this scene was the special feeling of love or the spirit or joy that I felt watching it play out. It felt like a little piece of heaven to me. Now that may seem blasphemous to those of you who think heaven is a perfect white edifice filled with people singing worshipful protestant hymns all the time. I guess I just feel like there are times that I feel the love of those around me and I feel God in it. I think God is in fun as well as joy, excitement as well as happiness, pleasure and leisure as well as work and sacrifice. I think sometimes we limit God to the things we know are sanctioned by him rather than realize that all good things are a part of him.

“If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.”

Since we know so little about heaven and exactly how our “eternal” relationships will play out.
…. “Wife number 3 would you like to go with me to visit our son and his 6 wives in their world next week?” …
I choose to concentrate on what I do know and what I can do in this life to be a good person and enjoy the good that life offers. As a Latter-Day Saint who is divorced and mostly attracted to men there are a lot of questions for the afterlife that I will probably not have answers to in this life. I don’t want to suppose or hear that I’ll be fixed and it will all be fine in the next life anymore than any woman in the church wants to hear that she will be one of many wives to their husband in the afterlife. The truth is, we just don’t know! We just don’t. So let’s do our best with what we have here and what we do know. Let’s stop supposing that Christ married Mary Madeline when we have no evidence that was the case or that he was married at all! Let’s stop trying to explain things that we just aren’t sure about and live the best with what we do know and start listening to other human experiences without so much judgement. Life is complicated and messy and full of grays and a lot less black and whites than we often paint it with. In fact it’s full of color and experience, diversity of opinion and thought and ideas and expression. Let’s listen a little more and preach a little less. Let’s be less judgmental and more loving. Let’s dance the Boot Scoot Boogie together!