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Contractor Joke (after reading, if you have one to share please do so, we all need some laughter in our lives).

Smart Contractor

A building contractor does extremely well and decides to retire and become a Gentleman Farmer. He buys himself a big ranch and gets right down to it.

One day, the contractor is out plowing his field and gets his tractor stuck in the wet ground.

A neighboring farmer driving by stops his truck and walks to the fence to call over to the contractor "you need a mule to plow that wet ground."

"Where can I buy one?' asks the contractor.

"Just happens I got one for 100 dollars" says the farmer.

The contractor looks at his shiny tractor stuck in three feet of thick mud." I'll take him," he says, and counts out the money.

"Can't bring him over today, don't work on Sunday. Bring it by tomorrow," "k?"

"Sure" says the contractor.

The next day the truck pulls up and the old farmer gets out. "Sorry, bad news" he says, "I went out after breakfast and the mule was dead. See?" he points to the dead mule in the back of his truck.

"Well, no harm done, just give me my money back" says the contractor.

"Can't, spent it already!" the farmer looks creastfallen.

The contractor thinks for a few minutes, then smiles at his neighbor. "Tell you what, Cletus. You go ahead and unload the mule anyways."

"Whatcha gonna do with a dead mule?"

The contractor smiles. "Same thing I used to do out on a job when I got stuck with a load of crap material. Don't you worry, none. Just load that mule right up into the back of my truck and we'll be square."

The old farmer shakes his head at the obvious stupidity of his new city slicker neighbor, but what the heck he thinks, and load the mule into the contractor's truck.

A month goes by and the contractor and farmer run into each other at the town barber shop. By now the whole country had heard about the big city contractor buying a dead mule for $100.

"What did you do with that dead mule?" asks the farmer, with a shy wink at the other guys in the barbershop.

The contractor sits himself right down in the barber's chair, and smiles wide. "Told ya - same as I used to do whenever I got stuck with a load of crap materials. Raffled him off."

"Raffled him off? How on earth did you manage to raffle off a dead mule?"

"I listed his height, weight, and color, then sold 100 tickets at two dollars each. Made $98 dollars profit"

"Didn't anyone complain?"

"Just the one guy, so I gave him his two dollars back!"