Snarky Gherkin

BREAKING: SNARKY GHERKIN CRUSHES ONE NATION IN LATEST TWO-PARTY PREFERRED POLL.

DemosAU recently published a poll asking voters to “imagine a head-to-head scenario between Labor and One Nation”...

A preference lean, not a first vote.

Conducted online. Sample size: 1,027.

Roughly 513 people clicked a box for One Nation with a chunk of those likely being LNP voters who simply prefer Pauline over Albo when forced to pick one. That’s not a mass defection. It's a hypothetical shrug.

Meanwhile, 3,200+ people have responded to MY poll. 2,800+ of them backed a cartoon pickle.

Only 36 backed One Nation.

More people voted for a smug anthropomorphic vegetable in a Facebook meme than Pauline Hanson in a real-world commissioned poll.

This goes to show that when you target questions just right, you’ll often get the answer you’re hoping for.

One Nation’s polling isn’t a groundswell.

It’s an illusion built on vague hypotheticals and leading options. It’s the political version of holding a mirror up to your own echo chamber and calling it “the silent majority".

This is an actual headline in 2026.

And yes, the French foreign office verified it. The G7 site was updated.

The G7 (the seven most powerful democratic economies in the world), representing nearly half of global GDP, responsible for coordinating responses to war, inflation, climate, AI governance, energy security, pandemics, and trade... has postponed its annual summit.

Because Trump wants to host a UFC cage match on the White House lawn for his 80th birthday.

This is where we’re at.
A fever dream timeline where the most economic influential people on Earth are bumped so America’s president can giggle while watching a bald man punch another oiled up man in front of the Rose Garden.

Somewhere, a Roman emperor is slow-clapping.

The rest of the world is still grappling with a cost-of-living crisis, several major conflicts, collapsing supply chains, climate catastrophes, and deepening ideological schisms.

But sure.
Let’s all just reschedule for after Donny’s big bash.

This is like that weird timeline in Back to the Future II but instead Biff becomes president.

New footage from the ICE shooting has been released from the agents perspective... and it’s wild that anyone thought this was going to “support” the agent’s version.

The footage clearly shows Renee Nicole Good in her vehicle, interacting with federal agents. She’s calm, even smiling, and moving away from them... not charging at anyone with speed or force.

Federal officials have tried to frame it as self‑defense, but the video does not show anyone being run over or seriously threatening the agent’s life.

This wasn’t a routine stop. It was a federal operation with multiple agents surrounding a vehicle that was not under arrest or being charged. As she tried to drive off (understandable when orders were conflicting) one agent fired multiple shots, fatally killing her.

How anyone thinks this does anything but raise huge questions about the use of force is beyond me.

This isn’t spin. This is what happened. And she shouldn’t be dead.