Life Coaching.

Remembering pain, focusing on painful outcomes is a learned habit.
A common thing we are taught from a very young age, is to focus on, and remember, the pain and what is wrong. With lessons, and statements, like "what's wrong here" , "what are we going to do about this" , "what can we learn from this" , "what went wrong" , "you poor thing" being fed to us from very young ages, we are conditioned to remember pain, discomfort, the agony of a situation; and this is where our subconscious stays until we learn to re-focus.
Hence we remember painful situations more than pleasurable things. The painful things are the ones which more deeply affect our life decisions.
How often, when we experience something positive, do we hear things like "what did we learn from this" , "what a happy experience" , "did you learn to do that" , "how did that happen" , "did you do that" .
We need to use less of the "pain reinforcement" statements and more of the "positive reinforcement" statements, to create a more positive outlook and attitude towards a more creative and life giving attitude and teach our children to be more life giving in their adult years and to create more positive outcomes in their lives.

Certainty without humility and respect becomes arrogance.
Politeness, consideration and thoughtfullness without good boundaries, becomes a door mat.

wisdom and understanding make the difference between the actions of a person in their king/queen and a person in their prince/princess.