Pacatus

I’ve heard this said in a few different ways by a few different people. I love the sentiment. Without love we cannot experience grief. Grief is love that has been displaced. Finding new ways to honour displaced love can be a big part of how we move through grief. But not being able to accept the connection can hold us back from healing.

Just like without light we cannot have dark, without love we live without grief. But who wants to live in the dark or without love?

In the weeks after a death common acquaintances slowly return to their day to day lives. We begin to go longer and longer without thinking about the friend we lost. This is normal. But remember this is not the case for closer friends and family.

The rule of three can be helpful if you want to BE helpful. Do check ins. 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months. Set reminders if need be. Checking in with a simple how are you doing today is invaluable.

And never be afraid to talk about the person they lost. It generally brings comfort. Share a story. Ask a question. Be engaged. They have died, but they have not really gone away. Not for those who love them.

❤️