Beautifully Surrendered

As much as I had thought that I was a very forgiving person before I thought I had a very soft heart, I did not, my heart was quite hard. I was not doing things out of a place of unconditional love. I would say things for lip service, but I actually had a quite an unforgiving heart, and it was quite bitter, or I had no problem living like the world in the cancel culture. I had no problem cutting you out of my life if you hurt me, offended me, and I was told that it’s okay to cut toxic people out of your life. I was very much living for self and self centered and doing whatever felt good.

By the grace of god I am no longer living like that and that is all thanks to the Holy Spirit and giving my life to Christ. I am able to genuinely able to practice forgiveness and love people like Jesus Christ loves me, and I am able to forgive others just as Christ is forgiving me. I have to remember Jesus and mine relationship started by him forgiving me of my sins and giving me grace and mercy, and I have done some pretty horrible things in my life so for me to live in bitterness and unforgiveness not only clogs the blessing pipe but it is extremely hypocritical and I do not want to life like that “Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?””
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18:21‬ ‭NLT‬‬
And that’s how I wanna live because God is constantly forgiving me and making allowance for my mistakes, sins, past, present and future. But just to clarify this does not mean you continually sin and abuse gods grace because that is lawlessness and god hates lawlessness.

“Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭23:28‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

“And then the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord will consume with the breath of His mouth and destroy with the brightness of His coming.”
‭‭II Thessalonians‬ ‭2:8‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I am so grateful that god has softened my heart and even sometimes when I wanna be bitter and I wanna be angry God will not let me. I remember once I was praying for this woman and she was so bitter and rude and unforgiving towards me, and it was so hurtful, I remember I prayed a couple times a day, just begging God to soften her heart towards me. But god did something even better he softened my heart again towards her, God is the best relationship I have ever entered into my life, and the most rewarding and I see the most insane and amazing miracles that happen in my life! Like little old me, God knows little old me! And god wants to know little old you! I hope you take that leap of faith because the kingdom of god is near!

Just remember

I love you

God loves you

Perfectly Imperfect ♥️

I recently have decided to leave my job for my mental health, it was an extremely hard choice, but I chose to trust in God and know that he will bless me with another job and another opportunity.

It just came to a point where I was at a cross roads in my life and I decided to trust God. It says in “Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people,”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭22:24‬ ‭NLT‬‬ as well as “An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭29:22‬ ‭NLT‬‬. Nothing I did would satisfy this man, I was nit picked daily, I was under appreciated, but when it came to the my last couple of shifts where I cried on a daily basis, I knew it was time to close this season of my life. This was not something I came to lightly, it has been something I have been praying about for weeks. Just like in “I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.”
‭‭Mark‬ ‭11:24‬ ‭NLT‬‬ and I received my answer last night when I told if I make a mistake I will lose my job and he look for someone else, which is so out of character, my bosses have always loved me, I refuse to be bullied out of my job because if I am made in the image of god I should love myself because I love god so very much. After I explain that I do not think it is best to continue this working relationship and I do not feel appreciated, he offered my job back, yet at a lower wage, because apparently asking for help makes me unqualified. And that was the answer I needed to confirm that this was not the place God wanted me. I also believe this is an opportunity to grow and lean into God and grow my faith, because I have never felt so at peace after leaving a job, there is so much uncertainty in the world but never with God I know he’s got me. So this was a blessing in disguise. And I would of never even had this perspective a month ago. And it is all thanks to god and the renewing of the mind just like it states in Romans. And that renewing of my mind gave me the ability to forgive this person and let go in love. And pray that maybe one day too he will find the peace that I feel because I remember when I was living in the world I too nit picked and lived in my perfectionism and I pushed that onto others and that’s because I was so tormented in my mind and held myself up to such a high standard that I too expected that of everyone else. Forgiveness. Love. Peace. And most of all Faith. Faith that God has got it, even when I don’t see the outcome yet.

“And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11:6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.”
‭‭James‬ ‭1:5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

God will give me exactly what I need in this season of my life and I trust him and not live in fear but like in faith.

I hope you too find this unfailing comfort the Lord gives you regardless of the season of your life.

Just remember

I love you

God loves you

Perfectly Imperfect ♥️🙏