Restorative Reflections

There are so many things that we learn about life as we go through it. Sometimes these things come easily and we take no notice of the transition from where we are to where we end up. There is a natural progression in the learning that elevates us from one stage to another gracefully. Then, there are harsh lessons that occur when exposure and knowledge are limited, and we struggle with the harshness of a reality we're not yet familiar with. Relationships can be difficult to navigate due to varied exposure to people with a myriad of different experiences. How can we possibly navigate relationships eloquently when we come across people with differences in values and experiences from our own? Truthfully, when we are vastly different from another, we find communication the most difficult. Yet, this is when we must be the most open and willing to communicate. It can seem daunting to communicate our weaknesses to another, but this level of communication opens a doorway to better relationships.
Righting wrongs, expressing our needs, being appreciated, respecting differences and valuing ourselves and others, allows relationships to grow into meaningful connections. When you are able to transform your relationships everything else improves.

Memories of experiences in the past color our present thoughts and actions. In terms of relationships, issues of distrust cause us to exercise caution in new relationships. Yet, the past cannot be repeated unless we take the same course of action as before. Even so, a different person will most likely respond differently than the previous one. Relinquishing suffering is necessary as we move from one relationship to another. Instead of closing off our emotions so that we no longer feel the suffering of the past, we can take a step towards nonreactivity. If we can see our past as fleeting moments that are here and gone, we can build a bridge from past to present. We don't need to carry our past experiences with us. We can release them and create a path of no resistance as we move forward. We begin to understand that bridging the gap between past and present is an effective strategy to release ourselves from our self constructed mental prison. We begin by noticing our patterns. The way we think about ourselves and others, can easily be changed. Consistency is a game changer! The more we notice, the more we can improve the way we respond. Each new action brings a new response. It begins by laying the framework for which new mental constructs can be formed. What would it feel like to trust? What will it cost you if this pattern doesn't change? Notice all the ways you demonstrate distrust. Notice your body language, words, the ways you create distance or avoid certain conversations. Then, recreate your thoughts as though you are trusting. It takes repetition to create a new way of being but you can restore the feeling of trust and that, will attract healthy relationships to you.