zerodarkcoffee

I want to love this country. I really do.
But love doesn’t mean silence.
And pride doesn’t mean pretending.

Like many of you, I carried this flag overseas. At the time, I believed in the mission. I believed we were there for peace, for truth, for something bigger than ourselves. Looking back, I see it differently. We weren’t fighting for freedom, we were padding the pockets of billionaires. But even then, I believed Canada was something more.

Now? Now I see a country drifting. Divided, distracted, disconnected. Sleepwalking while calling it progress. Shouting about tolerance while silencing truth. Losing who we are under the illusion of who we think we should be.

This isn’t hate. It’s grief. It’s knowing too much and watching too many pretend it’s all fine.

But I still believe. Not in the systems. Not in the slogans. In the people. In the land.
In the quiet courage of those willing to speak up even when they risk losing everything.

So no, I’m not celebrating today in the usual way. I’m reflecting. I’m remembering. And I’m hoping. Not for a return to how things were, but a step toward how things could be.

Te quiero todo.

Today, I remember Cst. Heidi Stevenson and the 21 innocent lives taken 5 years ago.

Like many of you, I carry a piece of the weight from that day. And I know how deeply it affected not only those of us intimately involved, but countless others.

To those who felt helpless, who wanted to do more, who were told to hold, or who felt like their role didn’t matter: It did. And you did.

Every role mattered. Whether you were in pursuit, securing a perimeter, standing on an overpass, or working behind the scenes, you were part of it. The mission doesn’t move forward without the team. Thank you to all of you.

Like so many of my days, this one will always carry weight. But we can carry it together.

I love you all.

Every day, I carry with me memories of war, service, sacrifice, and honor. And as time goes on, I find it harder to put those memories into words, yet they remain, woven into the fabric of who I am.

My relationship with the military has changed over the years—maybe it has evolved, or maybe I have. I no longer see things through the same lens, and my feelings toward our country have shifted. But my respect, admiration, and love for our soldiers and veterans is unchanged.

I honor them not as symbols of a nation, but as individuals defined by courage, resilience, and humanity. Each one of them, beyond the uniform, represents a spirit of sacrifice that transcends politics and borders. They are sons, brothers, fathers.

As I look back, I know that my journey isn’t just about service; it’s about keeping their spirit alive in my heart, even as my path and perspective change. And while words may sometimes fail, I remain committed to one truth: their sacrifices are not forgotten, because they live on in us, forever.

These images are of every soldier killed during our deployment on TF 1-07.

Lest we forget

Join and for a FREE 3-hour Combative Self-Defence Seminar designed for current and recently retired members of the Canadian Armed Forces and RCMP/LEO.

Hosted by Randy from he will be covering situational awareness, street altercation tactics, striking, clinch and ground techniques, knife defence, and much more.

Afterward, there will be a team dinner at Beyond the Pale.

Saturday, November 16, 2024 1:30 PM - 4:30 PM

Gracie Barra Martial Arts, 250 City Center Ave, Ottawa (near the National War Museum)

If you’re in the Ottawa area and don’t go you’re dumb.