Calm Again Psychotherapy

January 11 - National Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend Day

What does psychology tell us about our inner child?
In recent years, psychological trends that emphasize embracing the inner child have become popular. They are based on Bowlby's attachment theory and the idea that attachment injuries caused by a primary caregiver in infancy can be healed later in adulthood by giving ourselves what we needed but didn't get. Of course, this will not be able to undo what happened to us as an infant/child, but it can help us slowly transform our attachment style into a healthier, safer form.
One of the primary needs of our inner child is the need for security. But this theory also reminds us not to forget the need for play, spontaneity, and joy. It is easy to forget this in our busy lives with many responsibilities. Feel free to jump in a puddle, dance silly, sing in the shower! Life can't always be serious.

November 13 - World Kindness Day.
There are two dimensions of kindness: it can be directed towards others or towards oneself – in psychology, this is called self-care. Both dimensions are essential for a fulfilled life.
But if we are honest, we have to acknowledge that there are and there will be days when, for some reason, we fail to be kind to others. We feel tired, burnt out, or just too nervous and lack the energy to be kind to others. We yell at our child, we hurt our friend, and we are impatient with a co-worker. After all, we are human beings, not superhuman. This is OK as long as we can recognize and reflect on why it happened and can apologize if we were at fault. When this "repair" happens, the relationship can continue without severe damage.
And very often, we forget to take care of ourselves. We go about our daily lives, focusing on work and tasks, and it can take weeks or months to wake up - by which time we may even be showing physical symptoms of being overworked and not taking care of ourselves. This is often exacerbated by social pressures and work culture. We need to be available at all times and perform at our highest level. We feel guilty when we take sick leave because we are relied upon at work... Until society recognizes the damage the constant availability can do, we are left alone to listen to our body and soul signals and press the stop button at the right time - because no one else will do it for us.
by Orsolya Kis