Snowflakes on Roses

I realize that I haven't made an update about my journey to be a mother again on my own. If you've ever lost a baby or multiple babies, you'll know exactly why I did that. It is not easy to share the joy or even feel happy about what you have. You know how easy it is to be taken away from you.

But here it is.

My baby boy is currently 9 months old. He's been making me run for my money, but he is worth everything. He was in a major rush to come to the world. He was born on November 15 at 36w4d. He was a good size: 7lbs3oz. Worry about him being jaundiced, or losing dramatic weight comes with a preterm baby. But this little human has been a fighter since conception. I had a major miscarriage scare at 6 weeks. I was bleeding a lot and I wasn't able to clot. It turned out the baby asprin I was taking was making me bleed and increasing my blood pressure. We did an early scan, and we found no heartbeat. A little week later, there was his little heart beat. He stuck around with me. Even after birth, doctors were super surprised he managed to not get jaundice or lose weight. He's my little warrior. 💙

I was not ready for this. I was scared up until week 34. I found myself nesting and rushing to get everything done. I hadn't bought a single thing until then. It is so difficult to be pregnant after loss and infertility. But I did it.

Never forgotten🩷🩵

If you build, it they will come! Here's hoping I get my moonbow soon 🤞

I've been MIA. I'm sorry about that. Life has been one heck of a ride. But I'm still here and still surviving.

- I sold my house. My first ever property and who knows when I'll get an opportunity like that again.

- I moved in to a fresh new apartment. (Bonus: there's a cute single dad just across the hall from me 😍 and his sons go to the same school as mine...coincidence or fate. I will let you decide. 🤣)

- The custody battle of my son is still on going, but the other side has finally understood my point of view.

- I am completely broke due to the fact that I had no income all of July. It didn't help that I had major expenses recently.

- My only living son is starting school!!! 😵‍💫 where has the time gone? 😭

- I have a doctor appointment on Friday for a high risk OB-GYN who will follow me for any subsequent pregnancy.

- My infertility support group is starting up again soon. (DM me for details)

- I have fantastic friends who have always been there for me and for that I am eternally grateful.

- I've been avoiding Instagram because of all the triggers it brings. But I still want to see what you're all up to.

That's it for now. What's up with you?