RK Cattle Company

Preach. A good lesson for anyone with goals.

The expectation is not the problem. The problem is expecting the horse to carry the weight of your lack of preparation.

I think a lot about expectations, reality, and priorities.

Every day on the internet, I see someone asking for help with a horse problem, and they usually add, “Don’t tell me to go to a trainer. I can’t afford lessons. I can’t afford a clinic. I can’t afford help.” And I understand that money is real. I understand that not everyone has the same resources, support, or opportunities.

But I also think we have to be honest with ourselves about whether something is truly impossible, or whether it just has not become enough of a priority yet.

If you buy a $7 coffee three days a week, that is roughly $25 a week. That is about $100 a month. In three months, that is $300. In six months, that might be a clinic, a few lessons, or at least enough to get some educated eyes on you and your horse.

It might not be coffee. It might be gas station snacks, new clothes, new tack, eating out for lunch, little extras at the grocery store, or things we buy because they are fun in the moment. None of those things are wrong. But they are still choices, and our choices tell the truth about what we are prioritizing.

That is where this may get uncomfortable for folks.

A lot of people have expectations that do not match their current reality. They want to be competitive, but they do not ride consistently. They want a broke horse, but they do not put in the time. They want to run in the 1D, but they are not living like someone who is serious about becoming a 1D rider.

And I am not saying that to be harsh. I am saying it because horses have a way of exposing the gap between what we say we want and what we are actually willing to do.

Most people want the result. They want the broke horse, the confident ride, the buckle, the trail ride, the picture of themselves doing the thing they imagine themselves doing. But wanting the result is not the same as being prepared for the reality of what that result requires.

You may not want the work. Honestly, most people probably do not. The work is not always fun, convenient, exciting, or Instagram-worthy. But you also do not get to skip the work and still expect the result.

Is it realistic to expect that you can take a four-year-old, out to the barrel race if you are not consistently riding and developing your own seat, hands timing and feel? Having the goal to run your own horse and develop your own horse is great, but…Is it realistic to expect a young horse to fill in all the gaps when the rider does not yet have the timing, feel, balance, or experience to help that horse through the job?

A lot of people do not even know the difference between a rideable horse and a broke horse. A horse can be rideable and still not be educated. A horse can pack you around and still not understand how to truly use its body, follow a feel, stay soft, handle pressure, or make sense of a job.

That is not an insult. It is just reality.

If your expectation is to do a job that requires an educated horse and an educated rider, then your priorities have to reflect that. You cannot only ride when it is easy, only seek help when things are falling apart, only invest when it is convenient, and then be frustrated when the reality does not match the picture you had in your head.

The horse cannot make up for every place we have chosen not to prepare.

If you want to ride better, you have to ride. If you want your horse to be more confident, more broke, more prepared, you have to give that horse consistent, correct time. If you want to go do big things, then somewhere along the way, your daily choices have to start lining up with that expectation.

I have lived this from the other side too. When I wanted to learn, I drove 35 miles one way to clean stalls, feed horses, and ride 10 head a day. Then I went home and rode my own five. I did that around college and life because horses were a priority to me, and I wanted to know what I could know.

Was it easy? No. Was it convenient? No. Did I always have extra money or extra time? Also no. But I wanted it badly enough to find a way.

That is the question we all have to ask ourselves at some point.

How bad do you actually want it?

Not how bad do you want the buckle, the check, the nice horse, the social media picture, or the identity of being the kind of rider you imagine yourself becoming. How honest are you willing to be about what that goal actually requires from you?

Because the work is usually not glamorous. It is riding when you are tired. It is spending money on education instead of something more fun. It is taking the snack from home, skipping the coffee, saving for the clinic, hauling to the lesson, and being willing to hear the truth about where you and your horse really are.

Expectations are not bad. I think we should have goals, and I think we should want more for ourselves and our horses. But expectations without aligned action become frustration, and frustration usually gets taken out on the horse.

So maybe the better question is not, “Can I afford it?” or “Do I have time?” or “Why am I not where I want to be yet?”

Maybe the better question is, “Do my priorities match my expectations?”

Because when something is truly a priority, we usually find a way. It may not be fast, fancy, or easy, but our choices start telling a different story. And if our choices never change, we have to be honest enough to admit that maybe the expectation was never really the priority.