Amanda Lowe Music

Achchi watched me come into this world, and I helped her leave it behind🦋

🪷The afternoon of my secret show, I sat there practicing my setlist one last time. Unhappy with this new song I wrote for my grandma, I meditated for a moment in the sun and tapped into my grief. Memories of her flooded my mind; her garden, how she makes her tea, the oils in her hair, my head in her lap while she sang to me, hugging her goodbye for the last time, the lotus flower inside the mortuary, picking her final saree, spraying her perfume, carrying her casket.. Suddenly, I started playing the song in a completely different way, and words from my grandmother’s eulogy that I’d written three years ago belted out of me. I sat there sobbing and singing, while the guitar looped over and over and over again. I haven’t had this type of creative flow in years!

🪸 Just as I scrambled to write down the lyrics through tears, my dear friend Mo walked in, ready to help me pack up and head to the show. He asked if he should leave and I told him to stay. Old me would never!! I told him what was going on and he sat beside me while I finished the song, occasionally squeezing my leg. I’ve never let anyone see me songwrite like that before, let alone grieve while heaving-crying lmao. I am forever grateful for Mo’s love and comfort in that moment. Without it, I wouldn’t have been able to debut the song that night.

🌜Thank you to everyone there that held me while I ached and struggled to loop the damn song!! Thank you for letting me break my heart open in front of you, and for comforting me with your presence, snaps, laughter.

🌊We grow up thinking we are very different from our elders, wanting to be different. Yet here we are, embodying their very essence, their maneurisms and their wheezy laughs. In this same way, we will live on through the people that know us and know of us.