Your Communication Matters Inc.

Have you ever been in the situation where you questioned why something happened? That happened to me this morning. I was disappointed because my plans for the next four days have fallen through due to an issue with a flight.

As I was walking my dog and looking for the silver lining, I ran into a neighbor. We had a great discussion about what happens when things don't work out the way we expected.

I shared with him my belief that I think the universe has a plan. We just don't always know what it is. He agreed and he added that sometimes we keep our narrow focus of the situation, and we end up missing all of the ideas and perspectives of the broader situation. The universe helps and supports us when we're paying attention.

I started to think about how sometimes it's easier to stay disappointed and keep our narrow perspective. It's healthier when we actually interrupt and adjust our perspective so that we see what's outside of our original expectations.

My questions for me, for you, and for everyone are: When do you stay disappointed, frustrated, or even angry because you keep your narrow focus of the situation? What would happen if you stepped back to look objectively at the situation and see the opportunities and options that exist outside of the current scope?
I think we would have more options an
d we'd be happier. Let me know what you think in the comments.

Meet People Where They Are

This morning when walking my elderly dog, Jude the Dude, he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk in front of 2 people on their way into a coffee shop.

I acknowledged them with a nod, a quick apology, and a comment that something must smell good right here.
As they walked around us, one person engaged in a pleasant yet brief banter with me while the other, did not make eye contact or show any response.

It struck me how unique or sometimes similar each person’s communication style can be. We are who we are at work, at home, and everywhere in between – like on the sidewalk.
If I worked side-by-side as a team member, as a leader, or as a direct report with these 2 people, I would potentially have very different relationships with each of them.

- We engage more easily, frequently, and confidently with people who have communication styles and interests similar to us.
- We feel more comfortable giving and receiving feedback or suggestions for improvement with people are who are like us.
- We consciously or unconscious can predict their responses, so we feel more confident and capable of having sensitive or challenging conversations.
To add to that, we are more apt to misinterpret, misunderstand, or be easily offended by what is said and done by people who have a communication style that is different than ours.

We use our style or lens to interpret their body language, tone, and words. We can be wrong.

The bottom line is that we risk misinterpreting what people are really saying and their intention unless we consider their communication style and recognize our biases and style preferences.

The solution is to develop the ability to meet people where they are rather then where we are. Conversations become easier, faster, and better.

How do you meet people where they are?

If you would like to discuss how to support leaders and teams to master the skill of adjusting their communication style to engage and empower, contact me – Debbie Matters.

And remember Your Communication Matters.