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Negative feedback

It’s not always easy to receive negative feedback from someone. Sometimes our ego gets in the way, or we try to subconsciously justify our actions, which may get in the way of appreciating what the feedback is intended to do.

Here are some tips to consider when someone gives you what you may consider ‘negative’ feedback.

1) Really, actively, deeply listen to what they are saying

You must be in the right frame of mind to take in the information. If you’re in the middle of something else, and that is interfering with the message you are getting, change the location or stop whatever you are doing, so you can really pay attention to what’s being said.

2) Listen for facts and information, rather than opinions

Identify what ‘level’ the feedback is at. Is it making judgements about you, maybe using negative adjectives like ‘lazy’ or ‘poor judgement’? Or is it factual, like ‘late submission of a report’ or ‘overpowering at meetings’?

Try to differentiate between these levels, so you can assess whether the feedback is personal or factual.

3) Summarise your understanding of what’s being said

You need to be absolutely clear on the meaning behind the feedback. If there’s anything unclear, say something like, ‘When you said……what exactly did you mean?’ or ‘Could you clarify what you mean by ‘poor judgement’ in this case?’

Without that clarity, you may go off in a wrong direction

4) Resist the temptation to justify what you did

Remember, the feedback may simply be someone’s particular point of view. But to them, it’s reality. If you try to justify it, you may be negating the person’s communication and make them feel as if they can’t open up to you again

5) Explain your viewpoint without being judgmental

This means sticking to the facts, while understanding how that will look from the other person’s standpoint. Be clear on what your intention was, if necessary, and get their agreement on how the situation is seen from your vantage point. You want to start looking at the value of the feedback, rather than justifying your position

6) Consider any solutions that may be pertinent to the situation

If the feedback was factual, start thinking about any changes that may take you in the direction of positive results. If it was about some personal issue, identify the meaning behind it and see if there may be something that could be done to rectify.

7) Remember that not all feedback needs to be accepted

There may be some feedback that you simply feel is a person’s opinion and doesn’t require any changes on your behalf. Explain this calmly and positively to the other person, saying that you understand their viewpoint but it won’t change anything. See it as their perception of reality, rather than reality itself, bearing in mind what the end result of that feedback would mean.

8) Thank them for the feedback

Any feedback is useful, because it gives you an insight into others’ perspectives of you and this could be vital if changes need to be made. So, give some form of thanks for opening up and sharing the feedback. You can then determine the next course of action to determine where you will go with it.

By viewing feedback as ‘the breakfast of Champions’, as Tom Peters calls it, you will be seen as approachable and open-minded, ensuring that your team see you as someone amenable to change when it is necessary.