Gbengene Samuel

Hey guys it's been awhile, I know it's been really had so far about the pandemics. So I just think I should share this with you today :

"Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways."
-- Stephen Vincent Benet

What's needed for a new relationship with time and life?

Intention -- Get really clear about what you want.

Desire -- How much do you want something new for yourself? Know your motivation. Desire brings the energy for change.

Belief and/or willingness to trust you can have what you want. If belief is lacking, can you believe in the possibility that you can find a new way of living?

Perseverance, discipline -- It takes time and effort to change attitudes and habits. We can't expect a new life overnight.

Acceptance, both of what's happening now and of who we are. Until we honestly and openly accept our present situation, we cannot change it.

A willingness to try something new.

"It is so easy to waste our lives: our days, our hours, our minutes. ... It is so easy to exist instead of live. Unless you know there is a clock ticking. So many of us changed our lives when we heard a biological clock and decided to have kids. But that sound is a murmur compared to the tolling of mortality."

Thanks you all for you love and remember to drop your comments and remember to share with friends too I'll se you next time.

"Gratitude, the most powerful abundance hack!
That lead and merits every relationships.

Gratitude is the single most powerful mindset hack that can truly change anyone’s life.
And it only makes sense: how are you going to attract more of the good stuff if you’re not grateful for what you already have? This is the Law of Vibration at play.
A nice way to introduce gratitude in your life is to finish each day with three positive things… three things you’re grateful for that day. That sends the message of not lacking, which in return, gives you even more things to be grateful for.
It doesn’t matter how big or small those three things are. On some days, the roof over your head, a warm meal, and a bed to sleep in are going to be the only things you’re grateful for but that’s much, much better than nurturing thoughts that only point out to what’s missing from your life!
Have a great day and don't forget to drop me a comment in the box bellow 👇 let me know what you think CHAO.

"Hi there everyone! How do you spend your quarantine weekend? What's your new norm?.

Today I want share an insightful and helpful tips about how we *live and make a worthwhile* remember if you find this helpful! don't forget to leave a comment.

" An open ear is the only believable sign of an open heart."
my great mentor: -- David Augsburger

We can easily get into trouble in relationships when we assume that we know what someone else is thinking or feeling. Parents, in particular, can be quick to judge what's going on in their children.

Rather than assuming we know someone else's experience, we could shift our perceptions into questions. Instead of saying, 'I know you're hurting,' we could ask, 'Are you feeling hurt?' This allows us to connect with the other with no risk of misunderstandings.

"It's always wise to raise questions about the most obvious and simple assumptions.

"To assume is to be deceived."

Perfectionism.

It holds you back from actually getting all the way to done with a lot in life.

It may hold you back from even trying to do something because you feel you have to do it perfectly.

And it tears your self-esteem apart.

So what can you do about it?

Well, this Sunday I'd like to share two of the things that have helped me the most with overcoming this destructive habit:

1. Find a balance for yourself and set your own bar.

Instead of setting the bar for yourself - or letting other people set that bar - at an inhuman standard set it at a human level.

We all fail. We all have trouble reaching our goals sometimes. That is OK and very human.

Don't obey the bar that someone else has set for you. They may have set it out of the goodness of their hearts - or not, to for example maximize profits - but if the old standards do not work for you then it is time to find a better standard for yourself.

So set your bar at a level where you feel motivated but where you do not have to achieve inhuman results to like yourself and to be satisfied.

2. Surround yourself with human standards.

Choose to take small steps week by week to rearrange your world so that it becomes more and more supportive of you.

Reduce or cut out media sources that make you feel worse or like you have to live up to perfect standards. Replace them with podcasts, blogs, books etc. filled with optimism and motivation but also kinder and more realistic expectations.

Do the same thing with the people in your life. Spend more time with people who are kind, who like to grow and like living a good life in a balanced, positive and mentally healthy way.

This is your life.

You decide.

So set and surround yourself with the standards that help you to both do good and to feel good.

Take care and have a self-kind Friday and week ahead!
Remember to keep yourself safe from COVID-19. 🌿🌿🍀🌻

Learn how to handle criticism and verbal lash outs (and the fear of that).

Tip #1 in this article is one thing that’ll help you to handle criticism and the fear of it.

Because sometimes it’s simply about the other person and his or her situation in life right now and not about what you did or did not do.

A few more things that help me to handle negative or critical messages are:

Wait before you reply.

Take a couple of deep breaths in a conversation or a few minutes if you’re in front of your inbox.

By doing so you’ll reduce the risk of lashing out yourself or making a mistake. Calming yourself down a bit before replying is pretty much always a good idea.

Remember: you can let it go.

You don’t have to reply to all the negative messages you may get via email, social media or in real life.

You can just say nothing, let it go and move on.

This does of course not work in every situation but it’s important to remember that you from time to time do have this option.

It’s OK to disagree.

This took me time to really get.

Because I wanted to get people to my side. To make someone see things the way I did.

But it’s also OK to simply have different opinions about things. And to leave it at that.

I found that life became lighter and simpler when I started to accept this idea and perspective.

5. Set boundaries for yourself.

If you say no to yourself, if you set a few firm boundaries for yourself then it will over time become easier to do the same towards other people too.

And these boundaries can also help you to focus better on what matters the most to you.

A couple of my daily ones that have helped me with both of those things are:

A start-time and a stop-time for work. I don’t work before 8 in the morning and my work computer is shut off – at the latest – at 7 in the evening.
Work in a no-distraction zone. I keep email notifications and messaging programs off. And my smart phone is on silent mode at the other end of our home.
Only check email once a day. Otherwise it’s easy for me to lose focus and to have too many thoughts swirling around in my mind while working.

6. Strengthen your self-esteem.

Why’s this important?

Well, with a self-esteem toolbox filled with helpful habits you’ll value yourself and therefore your time and energy more and so it’s becomes more natural to say no when you need to.

And criticism and negative words will bounce off of you more easily and often.

Plus, you’ll be less concerned about getting everyone else to like you all the time.

Because now you like and respect yourself more and your dependency upon what others may think or say drops drastically.

7. Keep your focus on what YOU want out of your life.

If you know what’s most important to you and you keep your focus on that each day then you’ll naturally start to say no and stop being so people pleasing.

Because now your energy and time is mostly focused on your needs and wants.

You’re not just drifting along anymore without a clear focus (which is great because when you lack that then it’s easy to fall into the trap of just going along with what someone else wants).

So how do you do this practically?

Well, fine-tuning what you deep down want might take some time. But a good start is this…

Step 1: Ask yourself: what’s the top 3 most important things in my life right now?

It could be your small business. Your family. Your career, health, dog, photography hobby, soccer, improving your social life or simplifying your home. Or something else.

Step 2: Create 1-3 reminders.

Write down your top 3 most important things on a small piece of paper. And put it on your bedside table so you see it first thing every morning.

You can also create 1-2 more notes with the same answers to for instance put on your fridge and in your workspace.

An effective alternative to paper notes is to use a reminder app on your smart phone (I use the free Google Keep app for my reminders every day).

These two simple steps have helped me a lot to keep my priorities straight and to remind myself of them every day so I don’t start to drift too much from what matters the most to me


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