My Freedom To Thrive

Warning: long fuse, explosive ending

How long would you like to suffer? I suspect most would answer ‘for as short a time as possible’.

And yet as any health or well-being practitioner will tell you, that is only half the story. The reality is until the pain of not changing has become greater than the pain of changing, nothing happens.

Clients may come for an initial pre-consult, offload, decompress a bit, then feel slightly better and think ‘ach, it’s not that bad really….and hmm, real change seems a bit bumpy, so…’

To give an analogy, it would be a bit like starting to get a filling and then saying to your dentist, ‘rightio you’ve done some excavation, that’s enough. I’ll be off now’. The dentist is left thinking ‘eh, but you’re going to be walking around with a gaping hole’.

I call it living comfortably uncomfortable: where a client wants the same, but different. Same job, different boss. Same marriage, different spouse. Same family, different members. Change without change. They are usually looking for me to provide some ‘Book of People Management Tactics’ so they can turn their problematic situation into their ideal.

The psychological therapy tipping point always comes when a client recognizes their discomfort is of their own choosing and that until they commit to being brave enough to face the unknown head-on, they are paying me for a service they could get a lot cheaper from a friend. I get paid for quick results, not hand-wringing.

Many of course never take that step. They dream, they imagine, they whine, but they stay in limbo. The years ticking away, often living a wonderfully, vibrant disassociated fantasy life. Terrified of disrupting their half-lived existence (mortgage, kids, reputation, holidays, car loans). Settling for affairs, promotion, addictions anything to fill the abyss of disconnection and loneliness.

So, ask yourself and tell the truth, ‘how long would you like to suffer?’